Sand-tastically Silly Beach Jokes!

By admin

The beach is a great place to take children, and it’s a nice way to spend some quality time with your friends and family. What’s even better is going to the beach and being able to make those people laugh with the best beach jokes. 

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. The links below may be affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy for more information. 

Q: What kind of music do killer whales like?

A: They listen to the orca-stra

Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?

A: With ten-tickles 

Q: What do you call a lazy crayfish?

A: A slobster 

Q: What’s the most common insect found on the beach?

A: A beach buggy 

Q: Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

A: Because they’re shellfish 

Q: What do you call seagulls that live near the bay?

A: Bagels 

Q: Where do sheep go on vacation?

A: The baaa-hamas 

Q: Why should you never blame a dolphin for doing anything wrong?

A: Because they never do it on porpoise 

Q: Why can’t the ocean take a joke? 

A: Because it’s too salty 

Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

A: Nothing, they just waved 

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A: A nervous wreck 

Q: How do we know that the ocean is friendly? 

A: It waves 

Q: Who cleans the ocean?

A: Mermaids 

Q: How do you cut an ocean in two?

A: With a sea-saw

Q: Why is the beach always so confident?

A: It’s 100% shore 

Q: What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?

A: It a-piers we have a problem 

Q: Why didn’t the poodle want to go to the beach?

A: It didn’t want to be a hot dog 

Q: What does a mermaid use to call her friends?

A: A shell phone 

Q: What would you find on a haunted beach?

A: A sand-witch 

Q: What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?

A: Show me your mussels 

Q: What do you pay to spend a day on the beach? 

A: Sand dollars 

Q: Knock knock

A: Who’s there? Q: Water A: Water who? Q: Water you waiting for? Open the door 

Q: Why is the sand under the dock so resistant?

A: It doesn’t give in to pier pressure 

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?

A: It gets wet 

Q: What do you call a cat who lives at the beach?

A: Sandy claws 

Q: Who carries out operations in water?

A: A sturgeon 

Q: What do you call a beach that keeps losing sand?

A: A shore loser

Q: Why do male dogs float on water?

A: Because they’re good buoys 

Q: What are a shark’s two most favorite words?

A: Man overboard 

Q: Where do sharks go on vacation? 

A: Finland

Q: What do you get when you cross a shark with a parrot?

A: An animal that will talk your head off

Q: What happened when the shark got famous?

A: He became a starfish 

Q: What is a shark’s favourite sci-fi show?

A: Shark Trek 

Q: What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish?

A: This tastes a bit funny 

Q: What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish?

A: Swimming trunks 

Q: Why don’t fish play soccer?

A: Because they’re scared of nets 

Q: What do sea monsters eat?

A: Fish and ships 

Q: Where do fish sleep?

A: On the sea bed 

Q: Why did the jellyfish fart?

A: He ate too many jellybeans 

Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?

A: Peanut butter and jellyfish 

Q: Why was the jellyfish sad?

A: There is no peanut butter fish 

Q: What do you call a jellyfish on a plane? 

A: Flightoplankton 

Q: What is a shark’s favorite breakfast food?

A: A jellyfish-filled donut 

Q: What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?

A: A slowpoke 

Q: What do turtles, eggs and beaches all have? 

A: Shells 

Q: What do you call a turtle with a camera?

A: A snapping turtle 

Q: What do you get when you cross a turtle with a giraffe?

A: A turtle-neck 

Q: What kind of pictures do sea turtles take?

A: Shellfies 

Q: What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it? 

A: Shore 

Q: What happens when you go to the beach and throw your hat in the water?

A: It gets wet 

Q: What did the beach say when it saw the tide come in?

A: Long time no sea

Q: Why did the crab cross the beach?

A: To get to the other tide 

Q: Where does a fish go to borrow money?

A: The loan shark 

Q: Why do people swim at salt water beaches?

A: Because a pepper beach would make them sneeze

Q: What card game do anglers play at the beach?

A: Go fish 

Q: What did the boy say after a long day at the beach?

A: Mummy, I’m surf bored 

Q: What do trains do during the summer?

A: Play beach trolleyball 

Q: What do toads drink when they go to the beach?

A: Ice cold croak-a-cola 

Q: Why did they call the police during the beach concert? 

A: Something fishy was going on 

Q: What did the family do when they arrived at the beach resort?

A: They shellabrated 

Q: What kind of dessert do you serve at a beach party? 

A: Beach pie 

Q: What kind of fruit tree grows at the beach?

A: Crab apple trees 

Q: What did the pig say while laying out at the beach? 

A: I’m bacon 

Q: What’s the best day of the week to go to the beach?

A: Sunday 

Q: What is the strongest animal at the beach?

A: Mussels 

Q: What do you call a French man who wears beach sandals?

A: Phillipe Phloppe 

Q: Which fish is the most famous fish at the beach?

A: Star fish 

Q: What do you call a snowman at the beach? 

A: A puddle 

Q: What did the tree wear at the beach?

A: Swimming trunks 

Q: What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach?

A: A speedo 

Q: What did the parasol say to the beach towel?

A: I’ve got you covered 

Q: Did you hear about the martial artist that fought on the beach?

A: They were practicing sand to sand combat 

Q: What did one sand dune say to the other?

A: I will never desert you 

Q: Did you hear about the race between the sand and the sea?

A: They tied 

Q: How to beaches greet each other?

A: With a sandshake 

Q: Why did the jellyfish blush?

A: Because the sea weed 

Q: What kind of hair does the ocean have?

A: Wavy 

Q: What do you get when you throw an oven into the ocean?

A: A heat wave 

Q: What does the seaweed say when it gets stuck at the bottom of the ocean?

A: Kelp me 

Q: Why do bananas wear suncream to the beach?

A: Because they peel 

Q: What does a guy with two right feet wear to the beach?

A: Flop flops 

Q: Why is the sand under the dock so resistant? 

A: It doesn’t give in to peer pressure 

Q: When Cinderella goes to the beach, what does she wear?

A: Glass flippers 

Q: What do you call Scooby in snorkels?

A: Scooby Scooba Doo 

We hope you had a good laugh after reading these fantastically hilarious beach jokes. We certainly did whilst writing them!