Ready, Set, Laugh: Car Jokes That Will Drive You Wild

By admin

Do you like cars? Do you like jokes? Do you like car jokes? Well, you’ve come to the right place. We have the best car jokes that are sure to crack you and your loved ones up. 

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Q: What does Dora the Explorer drive to a birthday party?

A: A Ford Fiesta 

Q: What do clowns fill their cars with? 

A: Laughing gas 

Q: What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?

A: Carpet 

Q: Did you hear about the car that was made out of sausages? 

A: It was a banger 

Q: What happened when they shut down the robot motorway?

A: Everyone had to take the R2-Detour 

Q: Want to hear a car joke?

A: Ford Fiesta 

Q: When is a car not a car?

A: When it turns into a driveway 

Q: What did the tornado say to the sports car?

A: Want to go for a spin?

Q: Why can’t motorcycles hold themselves up?

A: Because they are two-tired 

Q: What do you call a Spanish man who lost his car?

A: Carlos 

Q: Why can’t motorcycles do push-ups?

A: Because they’re always two-tired 

Q: What’s a mixed feeling?

A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car

Q: Why did the robot sleep under a car?

A: He wanted to wake up oily 

Q: What did the road crew have to do after the cheese crashed its car?

A: Clean up de-brie

Q: What kind of vehicle does a chicken drive?

A: A coop 

Q: When cars turn 13 years old, what happens to them?

A: They have a car-mitzvah 

Q: What caused the ice cream truck to break down?

A: A rocky road 

Q: What happens when Kermit the Frog’s car breaks down?

A: It gets toad

Q: Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car’s hood?

A: Because he wanted people to shout, “Look at that S-car go”. When he drove past 

Q: How do you get four dragons into a car?

A: Open the doors 

Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A: A Holly Davidson 

Q: What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?

A: A lamborghini 

Q: What do you call a used car salesman?

A: A car-deal-ologist 

Q: Why is Miss Piggy such a bad driver?

A: Because all she does is hog the road 

Q: What kind of car does an electrician drive?

A: A volts-wagen 

Q: Why couldn’t the frog find where he parked his car?

A: He’d been toad 

Q: How do turkeys drive a car?

A: He wings it 

Q: Where do pickles go to buy a car?

A: The dealership 

Q: What kind of vehicle does Skeletor drive?

A: A Zam-bone-i 

Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?

A: He’s all right now 

Q: Did you know that Teslas come with a unique “new car” smell?

A: They call it “Elon Musk” 

Q: What’s the difference between a Ferrari and six garbage bag full of recyclable cans? 

A: I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage 

Q: What car did the successful sushi chef buy?

A: A Rolls-Rice 

Q: What kind of cars do people in Norway drive?

A: Fjords 

Q: What was wrong with the wooden car?

A: It wooden go 

Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck 

Q: What do you call a shrimp that gets run over by a car?

A: Road Krill 

Q: What kind of cars do cooks drive?

A: Chef-rolets 

Q: What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?

A: A Ford Siesta 

Q: What kind of car does an egg drive?

A: A Yolks-wagen 

Q: Why couldn’t the car play football?

A: It only had one boot 

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?

A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards 

Q: Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?

A: The Old Volks home 

Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

A: Hailing taxis 

Q: What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines?

A: Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside 

Q: What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender?

A: Eucalyptus 

Q: What did the spider do when he got a new car?

A: Took it out for a spin 

Q: What do you do with old German cars?

A: You take ‘em to the old Volk’s home 

Q: Where do canines park their cars?

A: In the barking lot 

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?

A: Robin, get in the car 

Q: Where do crabs catch trains? 

A: King’s Crustacean 

Q: How come chicken coops only have two doors?

A: They would be chicken sedans if they had four 

Q: What type of car does the dog hate?

A: A cor-vet 

Q: What car does a snake drive?

A: An ana-Honda 

Q: What do you call it when only one finger steers your car?

A: A thumb drive

Q: What do you say to a frog who needs a ride?

A: Hop in 

Q: What kind of car does Yoda drive? 

A: A toyoda 

Q: What kind of petrol does Vin use?

A: Diesel 

Q: Who can drive all their customers away and still make money?

A: Taxi drivers

Q: What’s the difference between a cow and a car?

A: I don’t have a car 

Q: What kind of car do frogs prefer?

A: A Beetle 

Q: What part of the car is the laziest?

A: Wheels, because they are always tired 

Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks 

Q: What happened to the frog who parked on the double yellow line?

A: His car got toad 

Q: What’s the last thing a bug thinks about before it hits the windshield?

A: Its butt 

Q: What kind of car does a cowboy drive? 

A: Audi

Q: What snakes are found on cars?

A: Windshield vipers 

Q: What had 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? 

A: Automobile 

Q: Who does a foot call when his car breaks down?

A: A toe truck 

Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?

A: “Turn your head while I’m changing” 

Q: What is the favorite car of a musician? 

A: Honda-A-Chord 

Q: What is the most edible part of a car?

A: The passenger 

Q: What is a cowboy’s least favorite car?

A: A cattle-lack 

Q: What do you call a robot driving a car?

A: A roadbot 

Q: What do you call a very fast llama?

A: A llamaghini 

Q: What does a ghost do when he gets in the car?

A: Puts his sheet belt on 

Q: What does a wizard use to fill up his gas tank?

A: Expecto petroleum 

Q: What happened when the frog’s car broke down?

A: He jump started it

Q: What is a detective’s ultimate car?

A: A track-tor 

Q: What kind of car do wolves drive?

A: A Wolfswagen 

Q: What kind of car does a mouse drive?

A: A mini van 

Q: What kind of car does an elf drive?

A: Toy-ota

Q: What do you need to be able to drive in the outback?

A: You need to show koala-fications 

Final hilarious 16 one liners to leave your with:

  1. My car was stole. I was stuck with just my phone, no Kia 
  2. I ran my Subi into the lake. Now it’s a Scubaru 
  3. Bad news: Your car was totaled. Good news: After the wreck, your Audi is finally an innie 
  4. When Jimi Hendrix was 16, he was in a car crash. Luckily it was just a Fender bender 
  5. I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked. 
  6. Chasing a car will definitely make you tired, but you’ll get exhausted if you chase cars 
  7. I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. Turns out, he was just telling me he approved of my driving 
  8. I just got 9 out of 10 on my driver’s test. The last guy was able to get out of the way 
  9. I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars. It was an auto body experience. 
  10. A Tesla doesn’t come with a new car smell, they just come with Elon Musk 
  11. That car salesman is a real car-deal-ologist. It’s been a long time since someone gave me such a stress test 
  12. I heard Gordon Ramsey drives a cool car. Must be a Chef-rolet 
  13. My sister told me you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you ought to have seen her face when I drove pasta. 
  14. Someone keyed the music teacher’s car. Fortunately, the damage seems to B Minor 
  15. A man drove his expensive car into a tree, and found out how the Mercedes bends 
  16. Man: “The neighbor is washing the car with his son again!” Woman: “Poor kid. Go over there and tell him to use a sponge instead.” 

These jokes really made us laugh, and we hope that you’ve managed to get a giggle out of a few people, too.