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Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?
A: An animal that milks itself
Q: What sea creatures say hello sixteen times?
A: Two octopuses shaking hands
Q: What held the baby octopus for a ransom?
A: Squidnappers
Q: What do octopus knights wear?
A: A coat of arms
Q: What story do octopus parents read to their kids?
A: Octopuss in boots
Q: What was the octopuses favorite cartoon?
A: Octonauts
Q: What type of cat has eight legs and loves to swim?
A: An octopussy
Q: What do you call an octopus musician?
A: A rocktopus
Q: What did the squid sheriff put together to find the outlaw cowboy?
A: An octoposse
Q: What would be good about crossing a turkey with an octopus?
A: Everyone would get a drumstick on Thanksgiving
Q: What has 72 arms and catches flies?
A: An octopus baseball team
Q: How do you know the bathroom is in use when you’re at an octopus party?
A: The sign on the door says “Octopied”
Q: What has eight legs and turns into a truck?
A: Octopus Prime
Q: How do we know that octopuses can’t commit crimes?
A: They don’t have a bad bone in their body
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles (Ten tickles)
Q: What is a play on words among sea creatures?
A: Octopuns
Q: Where do female sea creatures keep their money?
A: In their octopurse
Q: What did the octopus use to make jelly?
A: Ocean currants
Q: What do you call good characteristics of an octopus?
A: It’s octo-pluses
Q: What did the doctor check on his octopus patient?
A: His octopulse
Q: Who was the most infamous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid
Q: What did the octopus say to its sweetheart?
A: You octopi my heart
Q: What do you call an octopus who thinks the glass is always half full?
A: An octomist
Q: What looks like half an octopus?
A: The other half?
Q: What do you call an octopus with 2 arms?
A: A platypus
Q: How do young fish get to school?
A: By octobus
Q: What do you call a job for an octopus?
A: Its octopation
Q: When are all octopuses born?
A: October
Q: What did the octopus blush?
A: He saw the ocean’s bottom
Q: How much did the vet charge to treat the octopus?
A: Six squid
Q: What do you call a flying octopus?
A: An octocopter
Q: What’s an octopus’s favorite shape?
A: An octagon
Q: What has eight arms and tells the time?
A: A clocktopus
Q: Why was the octopus dangerous?
A: He was well armed
Q: What do you call octopus twins?
A: i-tenticle
Q: What did the octopus cross the reef?
A: To get to the other tide
Q: What magical sport do octopuses play?
A: Squidditch
Q: Where does an octopus sleep when he’s camping?
A: In a tent-acle
Q: What do octopuses put on their toast?
A: Ocean current jam
Q: What do you call a confident octopus?
A: Tenta-cool
Q: Why did the octopus blush?
A: Because the seaweed
Q: What sea creature can add up?
A: An octo-plus
Q: How do you know when an octopus has diarrhea?
A: It leaves squid-marks
Interviewer: What makes you think you’d be a good waiter here?
Octopus: I just feel like I could bring a lot to the table
Octopus 1: What should I do if I can’t swim?
Octopus 2: Use ink if you can’t float
Q: What does a shoe call an octopus?
A: A socktopus
Q: How did the octopus pay for his newspaper?
A: With ten nickels
Q: Did you hear about the octopus that played football?
A: He had ten tackles
Q: What’s an octopus’s favorite toy?
A: His eight little legos
Q: Did you know that the octopus is the only sea creature with tentacles?
A: Just squidding
Q: Why’d the giant octopus eat two ships filled with potatoes?
A: Because you can’t eat just one potato ship
Q: An octopus was filing a TV Show, but they had to temporarily stop filming
A: They were experiencing tentacle difficulties
Q: What was wrong with the busy octopus?
A: Nothing, he was just octopi’d
Q: What did the octopus say to the fox?
A: What are you doing in the ocean?
A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the army.
The octopus says, “No thanks, I’m army enough as it is.”
Q: Why was the Mexican octopus angry at the shark?
A: Because he ate his ten tacos
A boy goes to the cinema and is shocked to see an octopus sat next to him. “How come you’re here?” the boy asks.
“I enjoyed the book” said the octopus.
Q: I saw an octopus dancing at the marine disco
A: It pulled a mussel
Q: Where do octopuses sleep?
A: On the seabed
I saw a singing octopus once, in the choral reef
Q: Why is an octopus always bored?
A: Because nothing is ever interest-ink
Q: How does an octopus secure its home at night?
A: With a lock-topus on its door
Q: What do you call an octopus that’s into sports?
A: A jock-topus
Q: What do you call a group of octopi with tangled tentacles?
A: A grid-locked-opus
Q: What do you call an octopus’s job?
A: An octo-pation
Q: What is an octopus’s favorite band?
A: Ink Floyd
Q: What do you call an octopus that can talk to frogs?
A: A croak-topus
Q: Did you hear about the guy with the octopus tattoo?
A: He was all “inked” up
Q: Why did the octopus make a good drill sergeant?
A: He was arm-y
Q: Why did the electrician hire an octopus?
A: Because many hands make light work
Q: How did the octopus lose weight?
A: He went on a low-crab diet
Q: What do you call it when two octopuses have each other’s backs?
A: Squid pro quo.
Q: Why didn’t the octopus fight the shark?
A: Because he was spineless
Q: What’s a squid’s favorite pudding?
A: Octo-pie
Q: What is the biggest danger for a baby octopus?
A: Squid-nappers
Q: What’s an octopus’s favorite month?
A: October
Q: How does an octopus propose to his girlfriend?
A: I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, in marriage
Q: What is an octopus’s favorite number?
A: 3.14. They love octo-pi
Q: What do you get if you cross an octopus and an alligator?
A: A croc-topus
Q: How do you know if a squid has swallowed a clock?
A: You hear a tick tock-topus sound
I had to take my pet octopus to the vets yesterday, don’t worry though. He’s okay. But the vet charged me six squid.
Q: What did the octopus receive from the chiropractor?
A: A back kraken
Q: What do you call an affectionate octopus?
A: A cuddle fish
I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus.
The waiter said, “It takes four hours.”
I asked why? He said “It keeps turning off the gas”
Q: What type of keyboard does an octopus use?
A: SQWERTY
Q: How does a squid propose to its girlfriend?
A: Will you cala-marry me?
Q: What do you call an octopus with no tentacles?
A: Bob
Q: What sound does an octopus make?
A: A squid word
Q: Why is an octopus always positive?
A: Because it always sees the octo-plus side of things
Q: What do you call a group of squid?
A: A squad
We hope that you and your friends and family enjoyed these octopus jokes! We definitely had a good laugh reading and writing them.