When your baby only wants you, it can be a great feeling, but at the same time, it can be overwhelming and exhausting.
Especially when you come to realize that you can’t do anything or leave your little one with anyone without hearing their endless cry.
Even if you put your baby down to try and do something else, like your hair, or to have a shower, their heartbreaks.
It can also be really hard-hitting for the dad, they wish it was them that their baby would go to, but instead, when handed over, they cry as if you’ve abandoned them forever.
You will get through it though, and you’ll definitely learn some things along the way.
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What to do when your baby only wants mom
Things that work for someone else, might not work for you, so please keep that in mind.
Hopefully, these tips can give you a chance to have a bit of a rest and keep your sanity.
Say goodbye to guilt
We don’t always need to allow our children to have what they want.
Tough love is sometimes the right choice to make, even though it’s difficult to do sometimes.
Your baby will be fine with another person, so do it with no guilt.
You need to remember that if you’re constantly stressed over the fact your baby can’t go with anyone else, your baby will sense it and would be much better off with a mom who is relaxed and feels okay about leaving.
Realize that It’s completely normal
Your baby is going to be clingy and not want to leave the person that’s been holding them in their womb for the past 9 months, who feeds them, keeps them warm and content.
That’s completely normal. I know I wouldn’t want to leave. So, understand that it’s okay for your baby to cry when you give them to someone else.
It might take your baby a little while to warm up to social situations but if you keep showing them that it’s okay, they will become immune to the sense of leaving mama.
If your baby is attached to you, do not blame yourself. It isn’t your fault. You’re being there for your baby’s needs, and that’s how it should be.
Although, also remember that every baby is different, so just because Susan’s baby took to the social life and was independently leaving mom at a young age, doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong if yours doesn’t.
It applies in every aspect of baby life; eating, potty training, sleep, etc.
Set up strategies
You baby is more than likely going to go with someone who takes them away to keep them happy and entertained.
If you hand your baby to Dad and they just stand there and watch you go before going back to the lounge and baby being placed in the Jumperoo, then your baby isn’t going to be happy.
If you hand the baby to Dad and he goes straight away and plays with a baby or does something funny, your baby will become more independent with other people.
Work it into your routine
Most babies have a time when they become fussier.
This could be evening time when dinner is getting ready and they are becoming tired. So, to help them out, as well as yourself, you might want to get chores done in the morning.
Figure out what works best for you and the family and how your partner can also have so time alongside baby.
One on one time
If everyone has some one on one time with your baby, you will be able to understand how they feel love.
It could be through touch and attention or through reading and interaction.
Once everyone who regularly sees your baby has one on one time, you will all be able to chip in and help each other out.
Even if you fit in a couple of minutes to have some cuddle time and have general interaction can help with clinginess.
Independent sleep skills
It is sometimes required to allow your baby to cry when it comes to sleep time.
It doesn’t work for everyone, but it can help when needed.
If your child can put themselves to sleep without the help of the parents, this will be a massive bonus, as well as being able to set up their sleep environments to be drowsy with sleep sounds etc. It can help with sleep skills.
You don’t need to constantly be in your child’s face when it comes to play time. Allowing them to have that space and play independently will do wonders for their confidence. It’s a massive benefit!
Just remain consistent and slowly build up to help with separation anxiety and make your baby feel more comfortable in their own company.
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Your baby won’t stay clingy forever
As you look at your baby now, you even realize that time has gone quickly. Remember that they don’t stay the way they are forever, and that means the clinginess too.
Your child might remain shy, but they won’t be clinging to your leg wherever you go. They will eventually grow out of it.
It’s challenging, but at least you know it won’t last forever and time will fly by before you realize that you can actually go to the toilet in peace.
Ignore the unsolicited advice
You’ll always get advice that you didn’t ask for. Every single parent does things differently with their children. Even if they have two, or three. Every parent will do something different with the second baby compared to the first, and so on.
It’s completely natural for babies to want their mothers. So just ignore the ‘helpful’ advice that you’re more than likely going to receive.
Never do something just because of people’s comments. Do what you feel is comfortable for you and your baby and remember to work as a team with other people involved.
Play peek-a-boo often!
This will teach your baby that you’re never really far away and give them a concept of you leaving and coming back. Your baby will come to understand that even if they can’t see you, you’re right there.
You can then move onto hiding behind objects like a table or blanket.
Once your baby has mastered movement, you will be able to hide a distance away and then encourage your baby to find you. Of course, don’t go too far from your baby so you can still see that they’re safe.
Be happy around others
Your baby is skeptical with everyone that isn’t mom, so you need to be happy with other people so your baby can be happy with ‘strangers’.
Let your baby know that people make you feel happy and comfortable and keep your baby close enough so they can see your reaction.
If you’re planning on getting a childminder or someone to watch your baby, prepare them a few weeks beforehand so they can become used to the other person. So, let them regularly come to your home and greet them in a positive way.
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Use a baby carrier
If you have a clingy baby, it can be difficult to get things done. Using a baby carrier, whether it be mom or dad, can help massively in reducing the clingy symptoms!
Your baby will enjoy being close to skin, so, if mom needs a break or a shower, then Dad can wear the baby carrier without a top on, so the baby is at its most comfortable.
The outside world is amazing to a baby. There are so many great things to look at and so many different faces. So, taking baby out with friends or even Dad alone, can help with clinginess.
Going to the park can create some great bonding time and your baby will become aware that even though they’re away from mom, it isn’t all that bad.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Having a clingy baby can be so overwhelming and exhausting. Your baby will benefit more from a happy and healthy mom than a down and depressed one.
So, if you need support, ask for it. You’re not alone in this and you need to be at your best shape for your little one.
People in your life that love and care for you aren’t going to think of you any less or think of you as a bad mom. You will need help at some point and that’s completely natural and okay!
It all might seem a bit of a drag out now, but remember it’s a phase and your baby will grow out of it. In fact, when they do, you’ll probably want those clingy days back.
find the perfect solution that works best for you and your family. Be patient with yourself, you’ve got this!