Sometimes, It seems to be a regular occurrence of responding in a way that isn’t calm, and you automatically feel guilty because of it.
Your patience tank seems to constantly be running on low, and you come to realize that you’re just running on fumes.
You constantly wish that you were a more patient mom, but you just don’t know which steps to take to enable this.
During parenthood, you get pushed to your limits on a daily basis, and it then becomes a struggle.
As a mom of 5, I completely understand what it’s like to lose patience.
When I was pregnant with my babies, I always thought that I’d be the patient mom who was going to have their calm attitude no matter what, and shouting wasn’t going to an option.
In all honesty, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for.
It’s so easy to play a situation or scenario in your head and think you’ll remain calm, but there is nothing that will prepare you.
We have all run out of patience at some point because our children tend to know just how to push our buttons.
Of course, it isn’t their intention, but it’s quite a skill they’ve managed to develop early on.
I decided pretty quickly that I didn’t want to be the angry mom. I wanted to have my parenting in check.
I’m here to share my tips on keeping your patience in times of desperation.
So here are my top 10 tips to keep your cool and stay patient when your kids are driving you crazy.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. The links below may be affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy for more information.
1) Take a Mommy break
Does a racing heart and trying to concentrate on deep breathing sound familiar to you?
There is nothing wrong with having some grown up time. Just ensure that your children are in a safe place and just take 5 minutes way to calm down.
Once you’ve had that downtime, you’ll be able to go back to the situation with an open mind.
If your child is old enough, you can simply tell them that you need a break. There is nothing wrong with this either. In fact, it’s the perfect way to show your little ones that you have emotions and are human too.
2) Count to 10 (or 100)
There might be times when you need to count higher than 10, it happens to us all. It purely depends on the situation at hand and how much patience you’ve lost already.
This technique will give you a chance to take a breath and focus on something to distract yourself with. Mine was always a cup of coffee and the radio.
We react quickly and sometimes harshly when we’re frustrated.
If you start to count, you can stop when you feel like you’d be able to deal with the situation better and calmly.
It is only a small amount of time but it has big effects and you’ll realize that you’d rather be counting than yelling.
3) Do you have unrealistic expectations?
You might be expecting too much of your little ones.
I have to constantly remind myself that children are literally children and are trying to figure out their emotions and how to regulate them.
As adults, we’ve had so much practice on how to deal with our emotions and which emotions are ideal for each situation.
Your children are going to run off at the grocery store to look at all of the cool stuff.
They’ll be upset when they leave the park or playdate.
It’s what children do!
Your children won’t listen to every single word you have got to say, that’s boring for them.
Just like we do, children have bad days too. Except for parents, it feels like a ton of bricks on your shoulders.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: TIPS TO HAVE A STRESS FREE MORNING
4) Make time for yourself
I always feel on edge when I’ve not had any time to myself. It can be completely draining.
So, I created a ‘Moms Pamper Box’ specifically for these moments.
In my pamper box, I have my favorite bath bomb, my favorite candle, some chocolate, and microwavable popcorn, my favorite films and books and a puzzle book.
Sometimes, just having a coffee in the garden early morning or late at night is enough.
Even take advantage of any outside help you can get just to purely take some you time.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: TOP TIPS FOR A BUSY WORKING MOM
5) Be less busy
This can be so difficult for some people, especially if your time is spread thinly.
I always struggle with being less busy because I’m so selective about how limited time I have.
If you have a lot on your mind, you might feel overwhelmed and even the smallest issues can make you feel like your world is caving in.
Just try not to have so much time doing stuff.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:HOW TO COPE WITH TWO CHILDREN WITH A SMALL AGE GAP
6) How would you advise someone else?
I always try and put myself in the situation of what I would tell someone else and I’ll end up literally having a conversation with myself.
If you were at your friend’s house and you saw a situation that was driving your friend into a stress-induced ball, what would you do or say?
Your friend stares at you with helpless eyes as they ask you for advice.
Of course, you’d turn to your friend and ensure she doesn’t go all crazy mom style.
Then, you’d probably say something super encouraging and reassuring, and you need to try and do that for yourself.
7) How is everyone feeling?
If you’re hungry, tired or there is something going on that seems to be getting in the way of your patience making an appearance, try noticing the problem and adjust accordingly.
You will be able to discover the real issue and it might be really easy to fix.
It’s the same with children, if they are hungry or tired, they turn into some unrecognizable beast.
Although, there are times when adults or children wake up on the wrong side of the bed. It happens. Well, all I can say is that during these times, you have totally got this, and I hope bedtime comes around as fast as possible.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: PREPARING A CHILD FOR THE BIRTH OF A NEW SIBLING
8) Pretend you have an audience
How would you feel if your children’s Grandparents saw you lose patience? You’d be mortified, wouldn’t you?
Or what if your parents set up a secret camera to watch how well behaved their grandchildren are?
It can be so easy to lose it in your own home, especially with nobody watching. But, if there was someone watching, you definitely wouldn’t react in the same way.
If you pretend to have an audience, it will force you into a not so quick reaction, and you’ll be much more aware of the words you’re using and the way you’re acting.
Really act like someone is watching your every move (in a non-creepy way) and I guarantee, it could help you keep your patience for longer!
9) Let some things go
I always ask myself ‘Is this really that big of a deal?’ Usually, the answer is no. It’s in those moments where you just need to let things go.
You’ll notice that a lot of moms end up getting frustrated without evaluating the current situation because it’s almost second nature to go straight to the dark side.
Children will always have the ability to annoy us, and they can’t really control it. Although, we should be able to control our mouth and the way we act when they’re acting.
10) Realize your children feed off your energy
For some reason, most children thrive off annoying their parents. Whether it be because they’re wind-ups or because if you become impatient and angry, it gives off negative energy.
It can sometimes be impossible to reason when your child, but the shouting, screaming and losing your temper won’t make the situation any better. In fact, it will more than likely just make it worse.
It can be so challenging to control your anger and find more patience. I completely understand. Even after 5 children, it really doesn’t improve all that much, but at least I now have some techniques to fall back on which can help me in the situation.
Our children are only small for a very short time, so remember that when you’re red in the face and have steam coming out of your ears. Step back and look at what you have, you should enjoy it as much as you can before they’re in school and you’re begging for their attention.
You’ll end up being thankful to your children for showing you what patience really is, even if you had to learn it through gritted teeth, you will love them for it when one day, they’ll do something to try and annoy you, and it won’t anymore.
If you find that after all of this reading, none of the tips work, then simply try a different activity with your children. Engaging them in something completely different like messy play or hide and seek, can help them get rid of some pent-up energy. If you’re having a really bad day, hopefully, all of the running around and sensory play will mean that it’s bedtime soon!