Spotting Narcissistic Traits in Your Partner: 10 Warning Signs to Watch Out For!

By Krystal Brown

If you are worried about your partner showing narcissistic tendencies take a look at these 10 red flags to see if you are right. 

Love Bombing

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If your partner consistently love bombs you then you would be in a relationship with a narcissist. Love bombing is exactly what it says in the tin when someone bombards you with love and attention through kisses, cuddles, love notes, and text messages to the point it becomes overwhelming. You may not notice signs of love bonding until it is too late and you are in a constant state of your relationship being all or nothing. If your partner came on strong at the very beginning it is a sign they will be prone to love bombing. 

Making Grand Gestures

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If your partner is always making grand gestures or looking towards a future that seems too good to be true then it probably is. Narcissists love to make promises that they cannot keep as they always want to be better than others and make out that their relationship is better than any other relationship. While they may talk a lot of hype, such grand gestures cannot always come to fruition so you are likely to have been let down on several occasions. 

Constantly Making Subtle Digs

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Does your partner constantly put you down and make subtle digs at you? This is a common trait of a narcissist as they want to elevate themselves above others. They could always have a go at you for not getting their jokes or put you down in front of others if you don’t seem to be following a conversation. It could be little things such as “Why do you always do that” or saying “She won’t understand that” in front of other people. 

They Don’t Have Many Friends

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Narcissists have the time to love bomb their partner as they have nobody else in their lives or at least nobody who wants to spend much time with them. While narcissists can be charming and strike up many conversations they are usually unable to maintain friendships as people are unable to put up with their chaotic behavior. If you meet someone who seems very friendly and confident but they don’t have any friends it could be a red flag. 

You Are Always Defending Them

Narcissists are great at manipulating their partners into thinking that they are the ones that do things wrong and they should be protected. This means that the partner of a narcissist will defend their partner when they do wrong. A partner of a narcissist will play down when they are hurt, saying things like “they didn’t mean it” or “they are just having a bad day”.

They Have a Colorful Past

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If your partner describes all of their exes as being “crazy” or unhinged it could be a red flag that they are the unstable ones. When a narcissist feels out of control or “seen” then they will deflect the blame by saying that other people are the problem. If they are talking about so many crazy exes then you have to wonder why they could not hold down a stable relationship. 

They Shift The Blame

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As we have mentioned, narcissists feel that they are superior to others and can shift the blame on other people for their poor behavior. If they make promises or tell people their goals but then there is no action then they will blame everyone but themselves as to why their promises did not come to fruition. 

They Don’t Have Boundaries

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Narcissists struggle to set boundaries or keep to boundaries that others have set. This can often manifest itself by racing through relationship milestones such as moving in together, getting engaged, and wanting to start a family. It also means that as the partner of a narcissist, you have little personal space and time for yourself. 

They Can’t Connect Emotionally

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If you are struggling to connect to your partner on an emotional level as they want to talk about stuff on the surface. Exploring deeper emotions is something alien to narcissists who don’t want you to get close to the truth about who you really are. This can be difficult to pick up early on in relationships as some partners are vulnerable when we first meet them and they need time to open up. 

Your Gut Tells You it is Wrong

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Sometimes it is difficult to spot the signs of a narcissist but there is something in your gut telling you that there is something off about a person you have started dating. Amid a fresh relationship, you feel that the amount of attention they are paying you is a little too much or you find yourself having to work really hard to keep things going with them, it is time to listen to your gut and end it before you get in too deep.

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