A young bride-to-be looked to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) for advice on babysitting at her upcoming wedding. The 26-year-old explained that her fiancé’s aunt is “giving her hell” as they have decided to have a child-free wedding. The woman explained that her fiancé came from a very large family, and while he did not have any siblings himself, he has lots of cousins that he is close to.
His Aunt Has Eight Children
The woman explained that the aunt, who is 39, causing the issues, has eight children with another one on the way. The decision to not have children at the wedding was difficult, with the happy couple spending many months discussing what to do for the best. To enjoy an uninterrupted wedding with no “distraction” or “ destruction,” the couple agreed that they would only be guests over 18.
Having a Child-Free Wedding Works for Their Budget
The woman went on to say that as they will not be having children at the wedding, it will allow them to stick to their budget and not worry about exceeding the venue capacity. To make up for the children being absent on the wedding day, the couple decided to hold a family get-together a week later at the OP’s parents’ house. The kids would attend the “after party” and would, therefore, feel included in the wedding.
There Was a “ Mistake on the Invites”
After sending out their Invitations, they received a call from their aunt telling them about the “mistake on their invites.” The OP’s fiancé told his aunt that there had been no mistake and that the rule of no children at the wedding applies to her, too. The aunt argued with her nephew that her children should be allowed at the wedding, saying “all of her sweet babies love him so much.”
Her 19 Year-Old Son Will Not Be Attending
The aunt said that as her other children will not be able to attend, her 19-year-old will not be attending either. Pointing out that the 19-year-old is one of the groomsmen, the OP’s fiancé tried to reason with his aunt. Nevertheless, she was insistent that none of her children would be attending as she would not be able to afford a babysitter for her seven children. She went on to say that even if she could afford a sitter, she would not want to leave her children with a stranger, and she doesn’t think it’s fair for her children to miss out on the wedding.
Their Phones Have Been “Blowing Up”
The aunt was so angry that OP’s fiancé put the phone down on her, but she has been phoning the couple on numerous occasions since. The couple are now doubting their decision as their 19-year-old nephew has been texting them to ask if they can change their mind so that he can attend the wedding instead of babysitting his siblings. The couple feels bad for the nephew and wants him to be at the wedding, but fears changing their mind for their aunt will annoy the rest of the family, who have children that cannot attend.
The Couple Don’t Want Their Day Ruined
The OP finished by telling readers that they don’t want to be seen as being awkward, but if they give in and let all the children attend, their day will not be how they want it to be. In two minds about what to do, the woman asked for advice from readers before making a final decision.
The Nephew Should Be Able to Attend
One cheeky reader had a solution they felt would suit everyone when they said, “Uninvite the aunt; she can watch her own kids and the eldest will be free to be a groomsman.” While this seems over the top, many people agreed that it was the aunt who was being the a**hole. Another person pointed out that “Legally, the adult cousin has nothing stopping him from attending.”
The Younger Children Can Babysit
One reader said that two of the aunt’s other children, who she said were 15 and 13, could watch the younger children. Many people agreed with this babysitting solution, but some suggested that the babysitting issue was just a way to pile guilt on the couple. One person said, “She is trying to pressure her into allowing her to bring all her kids. Stand your ground.”
The Cousins Are Very Obedient
The OP responded to statements about the nephew attending regardless by saying, “The kids are very obedient. Aunt and her husband are incredibly Christian and raised their kids with many values, including “always obeying your mother and father.” Cousin isn’t going to tell his mom no. “ This suggests that there will be no room to budge, and if all kids cannot attend, then none of them will.
The Couple Should Do What They Want
Some people could see things from the aunt’s perspective, saying, “Your aunt’s concern about childcare is valid and one that any host that chooses not to invite children needs to take into consideration and steel themselves for the reality that some people with kids might decline.” However, regardless of what the aunt thinks or does, most readers agree that the couple should do what they think is best on their wedding day.