Parenting is a complicated experience where even the best folks end up making mistakes. Being a parent is no easy feat; no manual or guidebook can ever be sufficient. However, members of an online community bring the trial and error of parents who, despite their best efforts, wish they have done things differently.
1. Practice What You Preach
You could be a well-meaning parent trying to teach lessons to your child, but if you don’t lead by example, then you would be wasting your time. Kids learn best when parents modal the behavior they want to teach.
2. Parenting Isn’t Perfect
Parenting brings with it the pressure of being an indestructible adult. However, being transparent and open in front of a child and admitting your shortcomings can truly help. Children deserve respect and are owed an apology when wronged.
3. A Quick Rescue
A member shares the case of their brother going down the wrong lane. The parents keep wishing they had done things differently by sending him to therapy sooner and reacting quicker. Unsurprisingly, parenting is challenging and requires incredible promptness and patience.
4. Actions Have Consequences
Kids go astray if parents set a terrible precedent. However, kids can also grow up to be irresponsible if they have no consequences for their actions. While some parents may find it hard to set boundaries, it’s the only way for children to realize life’s do’s and don’ts.
5. Do What You Say, Say What You Do
In addition to setting boundaries, following through is even more important. One person shares “how parents who don’t deliver on both threats and promises lose their kids’ respect and trust.” If you don’t offer your child timely rewards or consequences, you’ll only end up yelling and getting angry. The trick is not to let yourself reach the breaking point by following through consistently.
6. Necessary Goodbyes
Numerous parents wish they knew it was okay to cut off problematic relatives from their lives. As one member mentions, they regret letting their vulnerable child have a relationship with a manipulative and abusive adult.
7. Limits on Love
Some parents take the love they have for their kids to another level. One member admits spoiling their kids so much that they refuse to be independent as adults. Moral of the story: children should learn hard lessons growing up to prevent learning them later as adults.
8. Authoritarian Regime
One person shares how their parents were good in all aspects except for certain practices where no questions were allowed. Children had to follow orders without fail. Such parenting may be considered a way to protect children. However, more often than not, such “protection” only makes the child susceptible to defiance. Curiosity can be a child’s best friend.
9. Self-Serving Bias
Sometimes parents who provide for their children can end up sabotaging them unconsciously. As one member points out, parents may even be resentful of their child’s achievements if success isn’t attributed to the parents. However, all failures belong to the child.
10. Projection Problems
Lastly, parenting may breed projection. What constitutes “failed” parenting may be a case of a child who failed to be their parent’s replica. One person shares how her different lifestyle choices make her parents think of her as a failure despite their best attempts.
Source: Reddit.
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