Even the kindest individuals struggle to endure those who purposefully inflict harm on others. Whether it’s displaying rudeness, using offensive language, or treating people poorly, certain behaviors can hinder the formation of friendships. In this article, we explore 10 remarks people make that immediately evoke a sense of aversion.
Brutal Honesty
When people start a conversation with “In all honesty” or “to be honest” they usually follow with something that offends. Honesty in any relationship is good but sometimes people can be cruel with their words and are more brutal than honest. This is especially the case when you are meeting new people who may be sensitive to some of the feedback that you give.
Bragging
It is great to hear that someone is doing well in life but sometimes they give you their life story, including how many college degrees they have, how much money they earn, and every country they have ever visited. Too much bragging can be overwhelming for the person you are talking to so coming it down a notch or ten is a good idea.
Rude to Wait Staff
People say that you can tell how a person really is by how they talk to wait staff at a restaurant or an event. If you find yourself in the company of someone who is nice to you and other guests but is rude and disrespectful to the people looking after them, it is time to talk to someone else.
Disclosing Personal Information
We all have those lifelong friends who we can talk to about anything, even the embarrassing stuff that we find difficult to even think about, never mind saying it out loud. When someone you have known for all of 10 minutes starts to reveal their deepest and darkest thoughts, it can be a red flag. Not only will over-revealing your personal life make people feel uncomfortable, you never know what is going on in their personal life that may be triggered by the things you are talking about.
Showing Pictures of Your Kids/Pets
One or two pictures of children and pets are great to see when you are striking up a long conversation with, especially as it can help break the silence if things get awkward. However, when you are 2 hours into a conversation and the other person is still on their 1999 Facebook album it may be time to make an excuse to escape.
Asking Too Many Questions
When you meet people you want it to feel like a two-way conversation in which the two of you get to know one another. What you do not want is to feel that you are taking part in a quiz show by the other person asking too many questions and are not willing to talk about themselves.
Acting Too Nice
Yes, it is nice to be nice but when is nice too nice? When we meet people, first impressions count and we want to see the real person, not the fake character that someone is portraying in the hope that they will be liked.
Telling Too Many Jokes
There is telling a joke to break the ice and then there is thinking that you are a stand-up comedian with a captive audience. While it is good to cater to nerves when people are making too many jokes, generally it is a sign that the person is trying too hard. You can be polite and laugh at the first few jokes but trying to receive all of them in good humor is exhausting and unsustainable, especially if some jokes are inappropriate.
Telling Lies
If you suspect that the person you are speaking to is not telling the truth it can put you off. People Amy tell little white lies to start a conversation but when their stories become more and more unbelievable you have to question whether you are trying to make a friend or interview someone for the next big blockbuster. People want to know where they stand when they meet someone new and how embarrassing it would be once the person who has lied is found out.
Too Nosy
When meeting new people it is natural to have your guard up and you will likely disclose information a little at a time, holding back on things that are too personal. When people push too hard and ask very personal questions it can be intimidating and we just don’t like it. It is safe to say that if you meet people who do any of the above when you first meet them, the chances are you will not be meeting them for a second time.
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