Drawing Boundaries: 10 Unhealthy Behaviors Women Absolutely Refuse to Tolerate in Friendships

By Krystal Brown

If you are worried about how real your friendships are, take a look at these 10 common but unhealthy behaviors that you should refuse to tolerate from your friends. 


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If you have told your friend something personal and asked them to keep it private but you then learn they have broken your confidence, this should be a red flag. You can usually see signs that your friend is a gossip if they gossip to you about other people who you know they speak kindly about when in your company. If you hear the odd bit of gossip it may have just been a small error of judgment but when it is more consistent then it is likely to be a habit that you don’t want to be on the receiving end of. 

Comparing You to Other People

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If you have a friend that is constantly comparing you to their other friends or friends from the past then you have to question your role in their life. We are all unique and our friends need to embrace our differences otherwise they may not be real friends. This is especially toxic if your friend compares you to other people as a way of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself. 

Leave You Feeling Uneasy

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You should come away from being with your friend feeling happy and content with the time you have spent together. If you find that you are feeling uneasy and anxious after having spent time with your friend, it is a sign that the relationship is not right for you. Seeing a friend should be a pleasure and not a chore. 

Ignore Your Boundaries

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A good friend will understand your boundaries and the need for space when required. For you to truly be able to trust your friend you need to know that they respect you, which may not be the case if you cannot catch a break from them. Whether it be always asking you for money or expecting you to take calls late at night, it is time to revisit some ground rules if you feel you are being exploited. 

Is Always Jealous

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Jealousy can crop in a lot of relationships, sometimes when you least expect it. If you find that you constantly have to battle your friend’s jealousy there could be some deep-rooted issues that will rip right through your friendship if you don’t nip it in the bud. One sign of your friend being overly jealous is if they are constantly comparing themselves to you or lying to make out that they are more successful. 

Makes You Feel Isolated

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Being with your friends should be an enjoyable experience in which you feel connected and understood. If you find that your friendship is making you feel lonely and isolated then it is not giving you what you need. If you feel that your friend is only with you to maintain their popularity rather than caring for you as a person then it may be time to quit that relationship. 

They Affect Your Other Relationships

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If you feel that your relationship with your friend is taking over your life and you are not getting time with the other important people in your life, it is time to reassess. You may not have time to spend with your other friends and family members or you may start to drift away from them as your friends speak badly about them or says that you should only spend time with them.


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When your friend hurts your feelings or does something to upset you they should be truly sorry rather than being flippant. If you find that you don’t get a genuine apology when it is required, your friend may not value your true feelings. A non-apology will leave you feeling confused and hurt and this is not behavior that you need to put up with. 

Make You Feel Unimportant

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If your friends constantly change the plans that you have made or let you down at the last minute when they offer to do something for you, they may not value you. We all need to take a raincheck now and again but when you fear making plans with friends and are always left disappointed, the relationship may be one-sided. Another sign that your friends don’t value you is that they will constantly talk about their issues but will not take the time to listen to yours. 

Tries to Change You 

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Ultimately, your friend should accept you the way you are and not try to change you. When your friend makes comments about the way you look or how you are acting with the expectancy that you mold into how they wish you to be, it is time to have a serious talk with them. It is different if you want people to help you make changes in your life but when the advice is unwelcome then you should stand your ground with your friend. 

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