Traditional female roles have long been associated with glass slippers and fairy tales, but the reality is often much more complex and challenging. While there are undoubtedly many benefits to traditional femininity, there is also a dark side that is often overlooked.
Pressure to Be Perfect
One of the biggest struggles of traditional female roles is the pressure to be perfect. Women are expected to be beautiful, intelligent, kind, compassionate, and successful. This can be a lot to live up to, and it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. One woman tried to explain this pressure when she said, “Looking pretty? lots of pressure for that. Mental load? Lots of pressure for that too. But I see those as independent things that are decently manageable on their own.”
Photograph Ready
One woman told online readers that the central pressure she feels is from the “Internalized male gaze. Having to look pretty all the time just in case a man should see you. I agree, it’s exhausting and so second nature.” Traditional gender stereotypes often portray women as being more concerned with their appearance than men. This can lead to women feeling pressured to conform to these stereotypes in order to be accepted. Another young woman told people just how much this pressure can be when she said, “I was gonna say this too!! Beauty standards are seriously tormenting and pushed me to an eating disorder in my teen years.”
Girl Boss
While women feel more empowered through the feminist movement, the pressure to be strong, powerful, and successful is too much for some women. One young woman said online, “I’m a 22-year-old woman who is feeling burnt out by the “powerful woman, girl boss, etc.” personality.” She went on to say, “I feel Society itself is really pushing this idea that all women should be powerful. I think empowering women is great, and I’m so glad Society is doing that for us, yet I struggle with this.”
Empowerment
True empowerment should be the ability for free women to define what power means to them and to pursue their goals in whatever way they see fit, but this doesn’t always happen.
The Caregiver
Another struggle of traditional female roles is the expectation to be selfless. Women are often put in caregiving roles, and they may sacrifice their needs and desires to care for others. This can lead to resentment and burnout. One woman told online readers, “Honestly, it seems like modern womanhood got the worst of both worlds. We’re expected to do all the household chores while also working.”
“When Are You Going to Have a Baby?”
The pressure on women to have children can have a number of negative consequences. This can lead to feelings of stress, anxiety, and guilt. It can also lead to women feeling pressured to have children when they are not ready or when they do not want them. In some cases, it can also lead to women making unhealthy choices in order to get pregnant or to keep their pregnancy. One frustrated woman told readers online, “I don’t think I ever want to be a parent, but when I tell people that, I feel really weird because of how other people react.” The woman gained a lot of support from others, with one woman replying,” Society totally pressures women. It’s ok to be child-free.”
Not Woman Enough
Traditional female roles can also be limiting. Women may be discouraged from pursuing certain careers or activities that are considered to be “unfeminine.” This can prevent them from reaching their full potential. One woman told her story online, saying, “This may sound ridiculous, but I just feel like less of a woman. Not being able to appreciate makeup, hair, and clothes makes me feel like I’m missing out on this huge connection to other women.” This made a lot of women reading the comment sad and frustrated as they told her Society shouldn’t be making us feel a certain way.
The Price of Not Conforming
Women who do not conform to traditional expectations may be ridiculed, harassed, or even assaulted. This can have a devastating impact on their mental and emotional health. The fear of being alone, whether it is trying to fit in at school, the workplace, or even with your own family members, is daunting for many women.
Too Vulnerable?
One topic that comes up a lot when women discuss pressures on them is vulnerability. One online thread spoke about women “Trying to find the balance of being emotionally vulnerable and not “the crazy one” in such a way that maintains attraction.” This shows how many women want to stay true to their feelings and show their vulnerability while at the same time not wanting to be seen as weak or overly emotional.
No One Way to Be a Woman
Remembering that there is no right way to be a woman is important. Women should be free to express themselves and pursue their dreams, regardless of whether or not they fit into a traditional mold.
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