A woman recently received support from Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) readers when she told people she had gotten into a massive argument with her sister about her nephew. The 26-year-old mom of one told readers she has three sisters and the eldest of the three, ‘Abby’, has a five-year-old son.
The woman explained that Abby had faced years of fertility problems that sadly led to over ten miscarriages. After much heartbreak, Abby gave birth to her son and was very happy, deeming her child a ‘miracle”. The woman said her sister spoils her “rainbow baby” and lets him get away with everything. She went on to say that all of her family “bite their tongues” at her son’s behavior as they don’t want to upset her.
It Was Time for the Woman to Celebrate Her Child
The woman told readers that she recently planned a birthday party for her daughter, who would be turning one, inviting mainly family and close friends. She explained that she invited Abby because everyone else was invited, and she felt terrible excluding her. The fact that she considered excluding her indicated how much of an issue Abby and her son are.
There Were Lots of Activities Planned
The woman arranged for the children to participate in many activities, but Abby’s son did not want to participate. Her nephew was very upset that none of the presents were for him, and when he realized the birthday cake was not for him either, he tried to push it off the table. The five-year-old ate no food and did not want to mix with other children at the party.
The Woman Was Upset
Witnessing her nephew’s behavior, the woman “got super upset” at her sister for allowing her son to behave like he did. Not only was her nephew being rude, he was being rude on her daughter’s first birthday. The sister responded to the criticism she was receiving by saying her son was particular.
Her Sister Didn’t Like Her Response
In response to her sister, the OP told her that her son was unique to her. She explained that it is understandable for her sister to think her son is unique, but “to everyone else, he’s spoiled, which shouldn’t be overlooked because he was your special miracle baby.” Abby angrily cursed at her sister and left the party in tears.
Her Family Have Taken Sides
Several family members have called the OP to tell her she was out of order to say what she did to Abby, as she will never understand how much pain she has gone through with her miscarriages. The OP finished her post by saying, “It’s not that I don’t realize her son is special to her but it doesn’t give the excuse for Abby to allow him to act spoiled.”
The Sister Should Not Make Excuses
There was a lot of empathy for the sister’s situation, as many women commented how difficult they found it after having a miscarriage. However, many comments said the sister’s pain was not an excuse for treating her son like she did. One person said, “It’s still no excuse for raising an entitled child that no other person can stand to be around. It could be setting the poor child up for a difficult life and a difficult life for those around him.”
The Sister Needs to Think of the Long Term Impacts
Another reader worries about the long-term impact of the sister allowing her son to behave in a spoiled manner. They said, “It should be illegal to struggle so hard to make a baby and then totally neglect actually raising them to be wonderful adults.” This may seem a little harsh, but many other Reddit readers agreed with this post, with another saying, “For OP, it was one ruined birthday party. But for her nephew, life will be very, very hard. Most of the world will not think he’s special and won’t tolerate him acting spoiled.”
She Shouldn’t Expect Others to Treat Him Differently
Readers supported the OP, saying they did not believe her to be the a**hole, with one saying, “NTA, and you are 100% correct. While he is her miracle baby, no one else in the world is going to coddle him except her.”.Another person pointed out how typical this behavior was from entitled people, saying, “I am still stunned by how many people use ‘he is special’ as an excuse for bad behavior or the need for special treatment.”
People Hope Her Sister Realizes
While few people agreed with the sister, some felt for her situation and hoped things would change. One said, “It’s so heartbreaking to think about because this person wanted so badly to be a mother, through no fault of their own, was denied that ability for a long time, has now finally become one, and is doing a poor job of being one.”
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