A man looked online to discuss an upcoming gender reveal party he was invited to. The man told readers the friend is planning a fancy gender reveal and has asked that all guests pay $20 towards the cost of the day.
Bad Taste
While the man said he didn’t mind paying the money, he thought it was in bad taste to ask guests to pay for a party they were hosting. He says the man is a good friend, and she is looking forward to hanging out with him but doesn’t think other guests will be as enthusiastic about going.
No Gifts Policy
In an edit to his post, the man told readers that the friend was not expecting people to bring gifts to the event. He also said that the event will consist of around 30 guests who will be catered for and many party games. One user commented, “Weeks in advance and no gifts. That sounds reasonable.”
Some People Would Refuse to Go
Some users said they would not be happy attending the event as it was too much to ask for a gender reveal. One person said, “Yeah I just wouldn’t go. Gender reveals sound absolutely boring anyway, let alone if you have to pay. “Others said they would never ask guests to pay for a party they are hosting.
The Money Was Paid in Advance
In response to some people saying he should not pay if he is not happy, the man said the $20 had already been paid upfront. The reason for his reaching out online was to gauge people’s opinions on the situation before speaking to his friend. The man believes he will end up paying for the guests who are not happy to pay to go to the party.
Japanese Culture
In another revelation, the man said the male friend was American, and his wife was Japanese. In Japanese culture, it is apparently customary for other guests to pay at this event. This gave the man some context to the charge; the OP was still not convinced it was the right thing to do. Some readers were annoyed that the OP left this part of the story out in his initial post. Knowing that they were stationed in Japan and paying to attend an event as a “thank you” was necessary in Japanese culture made total sense. One person said, “That one piece of context makes the post make so much more sense.”
The Guests Got Three Weeks Notice
The couple invited their guests three weeks in advance, so they had plenty of time to pay. Upon listening to feedback, the OP spoke to the man from the couple who admitted he felt awkward with the cost, but his wife was embracing American culture but did not want to spend too much money themselves. One person didn’t seem to have an issue, saying, “Looks like I’m the odd one out here, guys. Seems pretty reasonable to me.”
Many People Think This Is a Reasonable Request
One online user said, “Well considering they want no gifts idk why everyone here is so upset about it lol it was clearly communicated beforehand.” This comment was liked by so many people who agreed that if gifts were required, like a standard gender reveal, they would have spent over $20.
The Gender Reveal Did Sound Fancy
While many people agreed that the fee was a reasonable request, some said that they needed clarification as to how fancy the event was going to be. One person said, “Since when are gifts a thing at gender reveal parties? It’s not a baby shower.” Another person was angry about gender reveals, saying, “Having a gender reveal in the first place definitely makes the friend classless.”
It Wasn’t Really about the Money
Some people suggested it wasn’t the $20 that was the issue but that it was $20 towards a gender reveal. They said,”I think people are circlejerking about the fact it’s a gender reveal party in particular and the responses would be more balanced if it were a different occasion.”
It All Turned Out OK in the End
In a final edit, the OP said that in the end, all the guests were happy to pay the $20 as they are “great people.” The OP conceded that the man was a good friend and followed the plan but said he would not do the same for a casual friend. Other readers were glad to see this ending as they said, “personally i think it’s totally fine. If that was my close friend and they were going to spend a ton of money on a catered party, I would want to help out too. $20 for each person is nothing.”
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