Who Needs a Stand-up Comedy Show When You Have These Celebrity Parents on Twitter?

By Krystal Brown

Parenting is hard, even for celebrities. While they may seem to have it all together, they have their moments too. Here are some celebrity parents who have taken to Twitter to share their parenting failures in a funny way:

Chris Pratt 

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“My baby’s sleep number is he don’t.” 

Chris Pratt makes us all realize that babies just do not sleep. 

Kristen Bell 

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“Overheard my daughter tell another kid: “If your parents ever get blown away in the wind, just pick up the phone and call 891.” #SafetyFirst 

In case of an emergency, Kristen Bell’s daughter has the best creative ideas. However, wind-related emergencies seem a bit far-fetched (but hilarious!) 

Chrissy Teigen

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“I have discovered a mother’s favorite thing to say: “it’s not terrible twos it’s terrible THREES ahahahah”

Thanks moms for reminding us its never ending challenges and milestones as children grow. Does it ever get easier?
 

Busy Phillips 

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“It’s weird people think my kids will be in therapy because of their names. Guys, my kids will be in therapy for LOTS of reasons, I’m sure.” 

Busy Phillips isn’t worried about her kids Birdie and Cricket being in therapy for their names, as obviously this is the least of her problems. 

Olivia Wilde

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Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face. #awesome

A great reminder that sometimes parenting can be messy, unpredictable, and downright hilarious

Jim Gaffigan

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“Travelling with a four year old boy is like transferring a serial killer between prisons.” 

Jim Gaffigan takes his comedy act to Twitter while explaining what it’s like to travel with his son. 

Nicole Richie

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“It’s 8:30am & I’ve already gotten into 5 fights – thugs, and parents of toddlers.”

Let’s be honest, at 8:30 a.m., the only people up and about are parents of toddlers – the real gangsters of the morning.

Alyssa Milano

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My 4 year old son just said to me, “Mom, you should never trust farts.

He’s not wrong, they are silent and deadly!

Carrie Underwood

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“It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish…”
 
You know what they say: you are what your kids eat! So, if you want to avoid turning into a giant chicken nugget or a walking bag of chips, make sure to feed your little ones some healthy and balanced meals.
 

Alyson Hannigan 

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“Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” 

Naps are needed for the parents  just as much as it is needed for the child, and Alyson Hannigan makes us feel better by letting us know that it isn’t just us that feels this. 

Brooklyn Decker

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“My toddler has the flu and my baby is colicky… they are both crying and miserable. At the very moment I thought my heart was going to shatter – my stud of a husband walked in with a cup of ice and a bottle of tequila. I’m convinced this is what the gates of heaven look like.” 

There is no greater feeling than being around your children, except Brooklyn Decker reminds us that actually, the better feeling is your husband being at the door with some tequila. 

Ryan Reynolds

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“On Fathers Day, my daughter smiled at me. It was all the gift I needed as I packed a bag and left for 6 years to write a book on parenting.” 

Ryan Reynolds is one of the funniest celebs to take to Twitter and he loves nothing more than to joke about the desire to bid his children farewell – at least, just for now. Hopefully these hilarious tweets from celebrity’s have made you feel a bit better when you feel as if you’re coming to the end of your tether.