The Ultimate Relationship Test: Did He Cross the Line by Asking His Pregnant Wife to Leave?

By Emma Williams

A husband asked an online forum for advice while dealing with relationship problems with his pregnant wife. He complained about several behaviors, such as not sharing any food made for dinner while complaining that it tasted bad, getting angry over small things, and accusing him of not being interested in her while he worked extra long hours at work.

What Was the Loyalty Test?

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The final straw came when a strange girl started to hit on him while he was at the gym, and he told her that he was married and not interested. His wife was elated when he got home, because the girl turned out to be one of her friends who she had asked to tempt and test him.

Was This a Betrayal?

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The husband felt betrayed and was considering asking his wife to leave since she didn’t seem to trust or love him.

Is Separation the Right Answer

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While most posters agreed that the wife’s behavior is very concerning, few thought that separation should be the first step. While not excusing the behavior, there were many suggestions explaining what could be the root cause.

Couple’s Therapy

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Many posters suggested that the original poster and his wife give couple’s therapy a try. There could be a failure to communicate that could be smoothed out if they sat together and talked things out with a therapist.

Would a Therapist Help?

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A therapist could offer a professional unbiased view of the relationship from the outside, and could help them repair the relationship?

Long Work Hours

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Several posters thought that the long work hours could be contributing to the problem. Some people whose spouses worked similar hours said that they missed them and even felt neglected. If the work schedule changed recently, especially around the same time as the wife became pregnant, it could be exacerbating the situation.

Increase Communication

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Outside of therapy, an increase of day-to-day communication could help the situation too. Some posters responding to the original poster thought that it sounded like aggravation over smaller problems could have been festering for a while, making problems even worse.

Was He Tired from Working Long Hours?

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Some suggested that being tired from working long hours could make the original poster’s fuse shorter than normal as well.

Rule Out Medical Causes

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Concerned posters thought that the original poster should make sure to rule out medical causes, especially if the personality change was sudden. Pregnancy and hormones aren’t the only cause of personality shifts, and it could indicate another serious medical problem.

Pregnancy Hormones

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Pregnancy hormones were suggested as a cause of the wife’s increased aggravation and mood swings. If her personality wasn’t like this prior to pregnancy, it could be a temporary condition and she may return to normal after their daughter is born.

Altered Tastes

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One of the complaints mentioned in the original post was that the wife would request specific foods for dinner, and then not share any and complain about the taste. Some posters mentioned that food tasted strange when they were pregnant, so that could be part of the issue as well.

Pregnancy Psychosis

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Pregnancy psychosis is a rare and dangerous condition that can develop during pregnancy. Commenters suggested that the husband seek out a mental health professional just in case before anything more dangerous than hurt feelings happened, especially because the wife seemed to suddenly be displaying signs of paranoia.

How Was the Relationship Before Pregnancy?

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Others wondered what the relationship was like before the pregnancy. All relationships have their ups and downs, but examining how healthy the relationship was before the start of the current problems could indicate if repairing the relationship is possible.

Was She Always Insecure?

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If the relationship was rocky to start with and full of insecurity, the problems may have become magnified by the stress of pregnancy and changes to the family, it could be a sign that the couple isn’t compatible.

Emotional Abuse

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Some posters were upset after reading the story, and thought that the wife’s behavior was bad enough to be considered emotional abuse. The manipulative behavior and disparaging comments she makes to her husband could have a negative effect on his own mental health.

What Is Best for the Baby?

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When deciding what to do about the situation, commenters reminded the original poster that he needs to consider what is best for his unborn daughter as well. Some suggested that the husband leave the house for now if they really can’t live together because he is in a less delicate condition. Others asked if the wife has family she could safely stay with.

Don’t Make Rash Decisions

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While no posters approved of the wife’s behavior, many thought that it could be a solvable problem and that asking her to leave might not be the right decision just yet. If the problem is medical or hormone based, it could possibly be only temporary.

Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem?

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If the cause isn’t physical, counseling or better communication could be the key and mend the family dynamic. Asking the wife to leave could be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and should be a last resort rather than the first solution.

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