The Name Game: How These 12 Baby Names Could Ruin Your Reputation as a Parent

By Krystal Brown

Boomers are united in their opinions of many things and baby names are no exception. We have put together a list of 12 names that Boomer parents have deemed trashy.

Any Name Inspired by Alcohol

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We all love Cardi B, but unless your child grows up to be a famous rapper, there is really no need to be this quirky. Names such as Bacardi, Whiskey, or Brandy are immediately frowned upon by the older generation. There is just something tacky about associating a baby with adult indulgence.

Marilyn

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Okay, yes, Marilyn Monroe was an icon, but she was also one of the most famous mistresses of all time. Her status as a sex symbol of the 1950s and early 1960s has remained intact, even now. Promiscuity is always subconsciously attached to this name, thus making it extremely inappropriate as a baby name. Added to this, she wasn’t even called Marilyn anyway, having been born Norma Jeane Mortenson.

Keeping up with the Kardashians

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This is an immediate no. Unless you have billions of dollars attached to pass on to your children, your child needs to build their own reputation. They cannot do that with names such as North, Saint, True, or Dream. We cannot repurpose ordinary terms in the name of being quirky or relevant. For the record, naming your child after colors is also not cool, unless you are a billionaire.

Misspelling

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‘Jaxon’ is not cooler than ‘Jackson’. It is pronounced the same so unfortunately your hopes of being different are dashed. Unnecessarily sprucing up the spelling of a name is unnecessary and downright inconvenient. Surely, you want your child to find their names on one of those cute mugs, right? With a misspelled name, they’ll also need to spend their whole lives constantly correcting people.

Nevaeh

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This name became popular because it is heaven spelled backwards, however, people are more likely to think that you are obnoxious rather than godly. Heaven is a beautiful word that holds an important meaning for most of society, you should not repurpose it for your own agenda. There are plenty of normal religious names that can be used instead.

Joaux

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Pronounced Joe. Yes, that’s it, just regular Joe. This spelling is presumably inspired by French; however, it makes the name nearly impossible for us to pronounce. Parents need to consider that language and grammar rules cannot be broken just because you want your child to be different or unique.

Royalty

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Unless your child is actually a Queen, King, Prince, or Princess, you probably should not name them using royalty titles. It screams tacky because your child is in no way related to royalty. It comes across like you are demanding respect on your child’s behalf. We want to keep bullying at a minimum so let’s steer away from royalty titles, your children will thank you later. You may want to refer to your little girl as a princess, but boomers would frown on you if you literally called her that.

Brittany

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There is something about the name Brittany and mean girls, it is like the name provides a rite of passage into becoming a bully. Everyone has a horror story about a Brittany, and you don’t want people to form false perceptions of your child based on their name.

Gertrude

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Can you imagine calling a newborn baby Gertrude? There is no logical reasoning behind this one, people just think that it is a terrible name for a child. It reminds them of ‘old money’ which should signify respect but is instead met with disdain.

Bentley or Mercedes

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Naming kids after brands are, let’s face it, incredibly tacky. It is not giving your newborn the status that you hope. The original meaning of the name Bentley is ‘bent grass’ which is somehow worse than being named after a car. Many people have stated that the people who opt for these names often cannot afford the car that their child is named after (Ouch!). Also, your child is not a status symbol, come on people!

Candy

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For some reason, instead of giving the sweet vibe that it is supposed to, the name is often associated with strippers. I am not sure why the name has been popularised in the stripping profession, but one thing is for sure, it is not something that you should name your child. The name ‘Candice’, however, is fair game as long as you do not shorten it.

Precious Stones

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Okay, this is a tricky one as sometimes it’s okay. However, naming your children after precious stones will often be frowned upon by the older generation. Here we’re talking about the likes of Diamond, Emerald, Sapphire, Crystal, or Obsidian. While they are seen as trashy, or some reason, other stones are seen as acceptable. Names such as Amber, Jade, Pearl, and Ruby are more likely to be accepted by boomers.