Could These 10 Toxic, Behaviors Be Damaging Your Relationships? Are You Guilty?

By Krystal Brown

If you feel that your relationship is failing you could be guilty of one of these toxic behaviors.

1. Arguing When Angry

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Arguments are normal in every relationship and it is healthy that you get things off of your chest rather than let them simmer inside. However, if you are arguing constantly and you do so when you are angry then you can end up saying hurtful things that you don’t necessarily mean. Just as you should not respond to a text message or an email when you are angry you should take time out to calm down before talking rationally about how you are feeling. If you find yourself angry, inebriated, or unable to communicate effectively, tell your partner that you are upset but you will talk about it later as this will reduce the number of toxic arguments you have. 

2. Putting Yourself First

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In a relationship, there is a time to look after yourself and a time to look after your partner. If you find that you are always looking out for number one and neglecting the needs of your other half then you may need to work on prioritizing both of your needs. When making big decisions about your life or something that involves you and your partner you need to be less selfish and talk things through together. 

3. Lying

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If you find yourself lying to your partner, even little white lies, you are heading for trouble. A relationship without honesty is difficult to maintain as even the smartest of people can get caught up in their deceit. One of the most cited reasons people give for breaking up with their partner is that they have been lied to and they could no longer feel trust within their relationship. 

4. Avoiding Confrontation

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While confrontation is never easy it is a necessity when something doesn’t feel good in a relationship. If something is bothering you then you need to tell your partner before it is allowed to eat you up and turn into something much less manageable. Similarly, if you can see that your partner is wanting to talk to you about something then you should not avoid that conversation. Sometimes we need to have painful conversations in our relationships and this is not necessarily a bad thing. 

5. Making Everything About Your Relationship

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It is great to be in a secure and supportive relationship but you have to remember to spend time with the other people in your life as well as time on your own. When your whole life revolves around your relationship it can become pressurized and you may grow resentful when you reflect on what you have given up. 

6. Being Overcritical

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It is not nice when people are overcritical of you so you should be mindful if you are the one who is being harsh on your partner. A throwaway comment from you may be hurtful to your partner and when the comments are consistent it can become toxic. Examples can be “You don’t look good in that dress” or “I don’t like it when you dance like that”. Slowly but surely these comments can dent someone’s self-esteem and a good relationship is all about boosting each other’s self-esteem.

7. Not Practicing Self Care

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Just like it is important to spend time with people outside of a relationship it is also important to invest time in yourself. Self Care is important to us all and if you find yourself putting so much time into your partner that you fail to look after yourself you can burn out. When you feel a little frazzled by life it is important to let your partner know that you need to take a little time out. You should be worried if your partner prevents you from having time on your own and you think about how toxic you are if you deny the same to your partner. 

8. Hoping for Your Partner to Change

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If you notice that there are lots of toxic traits in your relationship but you bury them in the hope that they will go away, you could be in danger of being unhappy. Your judgment can often be clouded when you are in a relationship, especially if it is long-term and toxic behaviors have become normalized. However, no matter how many positive attributes someone shows, if the negatives are causing too much distress then it could be time to call it a day.

9. Stonewalling

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Arguing in a relationship, as we know, is normal and is not necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship but when your partner completely stops listening to you it is a problem. Stonewalling people is a refusal to hear what they are saying which is not healthy. Any healthy relationship involves people listening to one another and giving them a space to air their feelings. 

10. You Feel Worse When You Are With Your Partner

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Spending time with your loved one should be fun and comfortable, not worrying or tense. If you find yourself feeling relieved when you are away from your partner and can only think of getting away from them when you are with them, your relationship could be toxic. 

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