Behind Closed Doors: 10 Secrets Men Share Only With Their Closest Friends

By Aaron Stone

Have you ever contemplated the undisclosed aspects of men’s conversations? Prepare for illumination, as we present an in-depth insight into 10 subjects that gentlemen commonly retain in confidentiality, exclusively sharing them with their most intimate companions.

Vulnerabilities and Insecurities

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Men often like to pretend they are stronger than they are but they’ll still have plenty of vulnerabilities and insecurities. If they have a close friend, they may share these insecurities as they are likely to be understood and supported.

Why wouldn’t they share these thoughts with a partner? Well, to someone they love, men hate to look weak. They want their partners to not think any less of them so often won’t talk about these insecurities. 

Relationship Concerns

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Now, it’s obvious why a man wouldn’t want to discuss their relationship concerns with a partner! Any relationship issues will weigh heavy on the mind and therefore they will often turn to their friends if they have any issues.

Friends can be useful sounding boards for their emotions and allow them to process their thoughts and also get some reassurance if needed.

Career Frustrations

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For many years, it has been the expectation that men are the breadwinners and earn a significant majority (if not all) of the income in a household. Due to this, men can get down if their careers aren’t turning out as they wished.

Not speaking to their partner about this often comes down to pride. They don’t want to look like a failure to the people they love. A friend provides them with a safe space where they can seek guidance and vent.

Health and Body Image Concerns

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Body image concerns are something commonly associated with women. While women suffer badly in this respect, so do men! Whether it’s their weight, hair, skin, or clothing, men often worry about how they look.

There are many reasons they won’t discuss this with a partner such as fear of the response, and shame. If they have a close friend, they may discuss this, or worse, keep it bottled up entirely. 

Emotional Struggles and Mental Health

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Okay, we’re stretching it out here as men often don’t even talk about their mental health issues with a friend. Men can be terrible at bottling up their emotions as they want to appear strong. Generations of men have been told it’s weak to show emotions.

It’s very hard for men to undo those generations of damage. With the support and patience of a loved one, therapist, or friend, they may start to open up. If you sense a man is struggling in this regard, appreciate the challenge they face in expressing those emotions.

Regrets and Past Mistakes

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We’ve all made mistakes in the past, and men often don’t mind appearing imperfect in front of their friends. Not only that, but they may have friends who have been with them through thick and thin over the years.

With others, they may wish to appear perfect and don’t want to talk about their regrets. Speaking with friends allows them to get their worries off their chest without any judgment. 

Inner Passions and Hobbies

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Men can be ashamed of their hobbies and passion, especially if they don’t match with their public image. However, they are likely to have friends who share these hobbies and they’ll be much more open to talking about it with them.

These hobbies can be anything, including those things that are often seen as ‘nerdy’. And of course, if a man is worried about his favorite sports teams, he often won’t talk about this to anything other than his friends for fear of ridicule or lack of understanding.

Coping Mechanisms and Stress Relief

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Life can be stressful; we all know that. We all deal with stress in different ways and men often don’t like talking about it. For example, their stress relief may be one of the hobbies we mentioned above, which others may think is dumb.

Also, their stress relief may simply be talking to the friends they have known for years. Men often don’t talk about or even acknowledge that these actions are their stress relief. They’ll be just doing something they enjoy without realizing that this is their way to destress and take a mental break.

Frustrations with Gender Stereotypes

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Stereotypes exist on both sides of the gender divide and men often struggle with them. One of those is what we’ve mentioned a few times as men aren’t expected to show as much emotion, and this can lead to them bottling it up.

They may also be frustrated at their expectation to be a provider, limited career options, relationship expectations, and lack of body positivity. These are all frustrations they are more likely to discuss with their male friends.

Long-Term Goals and Legacy

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Men will regularly discuss their long-term goals, along with their legacy. They want to leave behind a loving family and provide financial security for their children. They often get shy about discussing these dreams with anything other than their closest friends.

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