These Names Are So Cringe-Worthy, They’re Almost Funny

By Krystal Brown

It’s a very important job when it comes to choosing baby names. It is one of the things that is going to shape their lives. However, there are some names that just make people cringe. We have compiled a list below (just in case!). 

Double Names

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There are some people out there who use first names along with their last name. Like William Williams, Robert Roberts, etc. 

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All of these names are well over the top and definitely make people cringe. Altogether, there’s Moroccan, Zen, Monroe, Cole, Golden Sagon, Onyx Ice, Rise Messiah, Legendary Love, Powerful Queen, Beautiful Zeppelin, Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir. 

Alcohol Names

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We understand that you might want to name your child after what you drank on the night of conception, or maybe you just really like a drink. Whichever one it is, don’t do it. It makes everyone cringe. Names like Chardonnay and Tequila are names that should be a no go. 

Normal Names, ‘Trying Too Hard’ Spelling

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When people go above and beyond to name their child, and they come across a relatively normal name, then ruin it with the spelling… It’s cringey. Your child has a name that could be easy to pronounce and spell, but instead, they’re at school with the name Joe that’s spelled Joaux. 

Cryptic Code Names

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Similar to the above, we think that names that have hard spelling is not the way forward. However, highly unusual names with highly unusual spellings are cringe worthy. Imagine being called 16, but it’s spelled  Xizteighn. Your child will spend more time trying to explain their name, how it’s said and how it’s spelt than they will doing anything else. 

A Nickname For What? 

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We know that Kim is short for Kimberly, Johnny for John, Penny for Penelope. But when there are multiple nicknames that just don’t add up, that will have everyone cringing. For example, how is Polly a nickname for Mary, and Peggy a nickname for Margaret? It’s confusing, and we don’t understand how Mike is short for Micycle. 

All Of The X’s

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We know that sometimes, it’s nice to throw a bit of uniqueness on a baby name. However, it can be cringey when it’s excessive. Jackson is good as Jaxon, but when you’ve got names like Braxxxton, this is ridiculous, and should definitely be on the cringe worthy list. 

Names That Rhyme

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We simply can’t understand why a parent would choose to name their child with rhyming names. You aren’t a poet and your child isn’t the poem. As much as you might like the idea, it’s just cringey. If your last name is Dingleberry, don’t go and call your child Jerry. Jerry Dingleberry does not sound good. 

A Run On Sentence

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There are some people that blend a sentence together in order to name their child. Cringe! For example, the name Youandi… separate it all and you’ve got You and I. It’s not worth the years of teasing your child will most likely end up with. 

Pun Intended?

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We know that some parents might not realise that they’ve done this to their child, but giving them a name that’s a pun, it’s cringey. Imagine seeing your friend, only to realize that their beautiful newborn is actually named Rocky Rhodes. 

Backward Names 

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In some sense, it can work. Neveah is quite a popular name, but it’s Heaven spelled backwards. We don’t fully understand why a parent wouldn’t just name their child Heaven instead of complicating it by flipping it backwards. You wouldn’t come across a child that’s name is Drawkcab… or maybe you would?

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