Man Refuses to Let His Sister Celebrate Her 40th Birthday Party Because of His Baby Shower

By Emma Williams

A man received a lot of abuse on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) when he called his sister out for casting a shadow over her baby shower. The man, Ryan, told readers that he was about to have his first baby with his partner Meg and was looking forward to celebrating with his family and friends at their shower. Ryan’s Stepmother and Sister Steph were planning on organizing the event, and the plan was to hold the shower in the morning, take a break, and then head to Steph’s birthday in the evening. 

The Day Is Causing a Lot of Stress

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Ryan explained that planning the two celebrations was very stressful as he believed their stepmother, Rachel, did not want to plan two events in one weekend at her home. With Rachel and Ryan’s dad being away for a few months a year, Steph and her wife Susan living a 3-hour drive away, and the siblings’ mother moving out of state on the same day as the shower, things became very complicated. 

The Shower is Planned 3 Weeks Ahead of Her Sister’s Birthday

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If the plan goes ahead, the baby shower will be held in mid-September, three weeks before Steph’s birthday. Ryan says as a new family member, Meg is happy to go along with his plan, and he praises her for how sweet she was about it all. 

Ryan Was Not Happy With the Clash

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Unhappy that his family was planning to share his baby shower with his sister, Ryan felt he needed to talk to Steph. He messaged his sister to say, “I gotta say I’m not OK with your bday and the shower overlapping if it was one week early, sure, but not three weeks. Call if you wanna Discuss.” When Steph called him to discuss his message, she was not happy. 

Steph Wanted to Celebrate Her Birthday in Summer

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Steph explained that she doesn’t like celebrating her birthday in the fall as her family is used to holding summer celebrations. She also told him that she doesn’t want to do a three-hour drive in September and then again in October, plus she would be celebrating her birthday with their mom, Lauren, ahead of the baby shower before she moves out of state. While their Stepmother, Rachel, was stressed about holding two significant events in one day, it was easier for everyone. 

Ryan Was Still Not OK With the Plan

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Ryan insisted that having a shower, a 40th birthday party, and their mom leaving was too much for one day. He thinks it will be too much for his dad and stepmother and that three weeks early is too far out to celebrate a birthday. He believes that he and Meg should be able to have their baby shower and say goodbye to his mom, and Steph can celebrate her birthday in another state. 

People Thought Ryan Was Out of Order

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Many people were quick to deem Ryan the a**hole as they thought he was being unreasonable to disrupt plans that had seemingly been well thought out. One user said, “You are being disingenuous. Your first two reasons are about how hard this is on your parents, but they were part of the group that set the schedule.”

It Should Be the Host That Decides

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Some readers believed that as the host, Ryan, and Steph’s parents should be the ones who decide on the date as they will be the hosts. One person said, “Your parents are hosting, it’s their job to decide and tell Steph no if that’s what they want.” Another person said, “I think it is funny that you think you have a say when they schedule stuff.”

It Is Not All About You

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One Reddit reader was very blunt when they said, “YTA the world doesn’t revolve around you”. A lot of discussion echoed this thought as people thought it would cause a lot of disruption to suddenly change plans. One person was brutal when they added, “If you don’t like that, then go have the baby shower on your own time.”

People Begged Ryan to Think of the Others

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Ultimately, readers felt that Ryan needed to stop and think about the bigger picture. One person commented, “You’re doing too much and causing unnecessary stress when it’s ONLY you who has a problem with it.” The fact that his family was willing to put on a shower for him and Meg did not seem to be appreciated. 

He Was Keeping The Truth at Bay

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One reader speculated that deep down, Ryan was hiding the real reason why he wanted to change plans. They said, “You are looking for any excuse or reason you can find, but the simple fact is you want the day to be all about your baby shower. You don’t want your sister to celebrate her birthday and take away for the baby shower.” 

Whatever the real reason Ryan wants to change the baby shower, we are still determining if it is going to be resolved amicably. 

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