A 28-year-old man caused a stir online recently when he tried to justify not doing chores “for his wife.” The man told readers on a forum that he has been married to his wife Bella for five years after meeting at college. The man explained that his wife graduated at the top of her law class and attended a top law school. While his wife was at law school, the man struggled to find work after completing an animation degree, so he found work in a kitchen to support them both, along with loans his wife took out.
They Moved State
When Bella finished her course, she got an excellent job in a different state, which meant the man had to quit. The couple moved into a lovely home, but the man has struggled to get a new job, meaning he takes care of all household chores such as cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and renovations. His wife works long hours, so she only has a little time to help around the house.
House Husband
The man said that during the last few months, his wife has started to refer to him as her “house husband,” which he is not pleased with. He says he is insecure about his lack of work and current role in the home, but he has been trying to let things go when she calls him this nickname.
His Mother-in-Law Disapproves
Things came to a head recently when his MIL, who he says has never approved of him, talked to him and his wife about the garden. Bella said, “Thank goodness I have a house husband for that, or I’d never find the time,” both women smiled and laughed. This caused the OP to become upset as he felt it was humiliating.
Bella Could Sense Her Husband Was Upset
The man says he did not want to cause a fuss, so he did not say anything at first, but he could see that Bella knew he was upset. When the couple got to talk, the man told his wife to “stop emasculating” him, “making it seem like I didn’t contribute anything to the household.” This led to an argument and Bella conceded that she would stop referring to him as her “house husband” if he was going to “get that upset about it”.
His Wife Accused Him of Being Insecure
Despite saying she would not call him her “house husband,” Bella claims that what she says is not untrue and that he should stop being so insecure. Bella refuses to apologize to her husband, so he doesn’t feel appreciated. To change things, the man stopped doing chores until she apologized.
His Wife Is Not Happy
The OP says his wife is unhappy about his withdrawal from chores and has resorted to cooking her dinner when she comes home from work, refusing to cook some for him. The woman does the chores that the man doesn’t and “takes off” to her friend’s house in the evening.
There is Some Support from His Sister
The man says that he spoke to his sister, who agrees that Bella was wrong to make fun of something that he feels insecure about but does feel he is being immature, refusing to do chores. The man finished his post by saying that he feels that he will be “giving in” to his wife by doing all of the chores again.
A Dose of Reality
Lost, the man took to Reddit to understand what other people thought of his situation. The thread started with one astute person pointing out the reality when they said, “Darling, you are a house husband. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Or being a housewife.” Another pointed out that. The definition of a house husband is a man who lives with a partner and carries out household duties traditionally done by a housewife rather than going out to work.”
Some People Disagreed with the Term House Husband
While many deemed the man wrong for reacting like he did, others sympathized with his dislike of the term househusband. One woman said, “As a housewife myself, I’d be so annoyed if my husband said he has a housewife to take care of stuff.” Another pointed out the double standards when it comes to men and women working at home, saying, “Here have often been posts along the lines of ‘my husband belittled me as a housewife so I stopped working and they all side with the ‘housewife’”
An Apology Will Go a Long Way
Readers talked about how it is natural for the man to do more chores as he is at home now. They also suggested that things may change when he gets a job; therefore, chores will be shared. However, the crux of the issue is that the man did not feel respected, and an apology was needed. One person said, “ I think the issue is less that she didn’t say she’d stop and more that she didn’t apologize.”
There was no update on what happened between the couple, but we only hope an apology was made and the man returned to support his wife and the home.
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