A confused man took to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) to look for advice on an upcoming family meal he would be attending. The 33-year-old explained that he has two younger sisters who now live together after their parents died. The younger of the two sisters has “unique needs,” so she moved in with her elder sister and her family.
He Is in a Privileged Position
The man explained that due to his family situation, he is in a privileged position in that he earns a decent wage, so he doesn’t struggle financially. As he has spare money and his elder sister took in their youngest sister, the OP usually pays the bill when they meet. It sounded as if the siblings were in regular contact with each other, often meeting for food or drinks.
They Were Planning a Get-Together
A new restaurant is opening in the man’s town with dishes ranging from $6-12, which is very reasonable. Drinks are around $2-$5, and a little extra for alcoholic beverages, so a meal for them all should be relatively cheap. The plan is for the man to meet with his two sisters, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew.
He Has Second Thoughts about the Bill
The man initially planned to pay for a meal for everyone, but he has second thoughts. He explained that he believes that his elder sister and her husband “earn a decent salary”; however, it is just enough for them all to live, so they only have a small amount each month. His sister asked for a $60 loan a couple of months ago to pay a bill she has yet to pay back. He then said that his youngest sister has loaned him $40, and she has not paid him back, although they are usually good at doing so.
They May Have to Pay For Themselves
As he is owed money from his sisters, he is starting to think that they should pay for their meals, so he should pay for his own. Feeling conflicted, he turned to AITA to ask readers if he was wrong not to want to pay for them as they still owe him money.
He Has Skipped the Responsibility
One reader was annoyed at the OP, ” Cover it, man.” This poster said, “she’s given you the gift of no responsibility and you think a few cheap meals even begin to cover anything?”. Many other readers agreed with this statement as they noted the support that the sister has given to her younger sister and her brother. Lots of people commended the elder sister for taking in her younger sister in their spare room.
Look at the Bigger Picture
The OP was encouraged to retreat from his anger and think about how his sisters feel. One reader said, “Take a look at the whole picture; it is very easy to get caught up in small details.” Thinking about the time, money, and stress the older sister must feel taking on their younger sister, the man was told, “If you put a monetary figure on it, I think you are coming out on the cheap side.”
“Why Kick Them When They Are Down?”
One reader begged the OP not to be too down on his sisters as they are going through a difficult time if they cannot pay back the money as they usually do. They said, “If they owe money and are struggling to repay, why do you want to increase their costs?” Many others couldn’t believe the man was so sore over such a small amount of money.
He Should Be Offering More Support
There were calls for the man to offer more support to his sister, saying, “Honestly, OP should be sending a monthly amount of money to his sister to help offset some of the costs of taking in their younger sister.” While it was not clear what support his younger sister needed, it was clear that his elder sister had gone out of her way to support their family.
They Will Be Looking Forward to a Nice Evening
Many readers felt that the sisters may have been looking forward to seeing their brother for food, with one saying, “If they’re borrowing money to make ends meet, this probably wouldn’t be a cheap meal for them but something they look forward to their brother paying for as a treat.”
The Man Listened to Feedback
After reading all the comments implying that he would be in the wrong for not paying for the meal, the man changed his heart. In an edit to his post, he told readers he had taken their feedback onboard and will be paying for his sisters’ meal, which is the least he can do, according to many.
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