A man looked to readers of Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) for sympathy after his wife ordered him to sleep in the quest room recently. The 39-year-old confessed to upsetting his wife when he insisted on creating a man cave in their new home.
They Had Just Moved Into a Large Home
The man told readers that he and his wife had just bought a large house with a “quite a big” basement. The size of the basement meant it was split into two rooms using a sliding door as a divider, which made him think of having a man cave.
His Wife Insisted It Was a Waste of Space
While the original poster (OP) thought his idea of a man cave was genius, his wife thought very differently. His wife said making part of the basement into a man cave was a waste of space as it could be used for something else, such as a cinema room for them both to enjoy.
He Installed a 65″ TV
Ignoring his wife’s wishes, the man put his plan into action and made his basement man cave that consisted of a desk, PC, couch, pool table, and a 65″ TV. His wife “found out” about what he had done (presumably he set to work when his wife was out of the house) she was livid.
He Was Banished to the Guest Room
As his wife was livid, the man was banished to the guest room for the foreseeable, which prompted him to turn to Reddit to see if others agreed with him or his wife. Overall, the man was indeed voted to be a jerk.
People Asked if His Wife Had Her Own Space
One reader quickly prompted the man to think about how his wife felt by asking if she had her own space with the same amount of money poured into it. The poster said,” I mean you’re in the worng for knowing that she would hate it, doing it anyway, and I guess expecting her to be fine with it? That’s dumb behavior for a 40-year-old.”
The Man Was Not Thinking of His Wife
Another reader thought the man didn’t think of his wife, saying, “She wanted it to be a space for you both. Decide to ignore that and do whatever you want. Which says to me how little you think of your wife’s feelings or view.” This was a common reaction from forum readers who were baffled as to why his wife would not be mad after saying no when he mentioned the man cave initially.
He Went Against His Wife’s Wishes
Many readers agreed that the man had no right to even think he would get a positive response when posting to a public forum that he said he went “Against my wife’s wishes.” Some readers thought that the wife was wrong not to allow her husband to have some space for himself when they lived in a large room. However, the fact that he went ahead with his plan behind her back was unacceptable.
His Wife Is Being Disrespected
Ultimately, people believed that in a shared home, there should be a unanimous vote on how to use the space. One reader commented, “It’s supposed to be your family home together but you unilaterally override her when the first level of negotiations got a veto. She’s feeling disrespected and excluded and not just from the decision making process.” The comments about his wife being disrespected got a lot of likes so it seems there were not many people on his side.
Some People Believed the Story Wasn’t Straightforward
Some people speculated that the OP was not telling the whole story and believed that there were more things his wife was annoyed about. One person speculated that the wife had more to tell, saying, “ Her perspective would be very valuable. I sense more to this story.”. More information was revealed to readers when the OP replied to a comment revealing that he had spent over $3,000 already on his man cave. This revelation led to one person commenting, “ You’re acting too childish for it to be called a man cave.”
Good Communication is The Way Forward
Many words of wisdom were shared with this great advice from one person, “That doesn’t mean you both can’t have independent hobbies, spending money, even spaces in your home. But if you don’t make those decisions together to ensure you’re both getting what you need out of the situation – then yes, you’re an idiot.”
This tale is a lesson learned for all men and women who think that they can get what they want when other people in their relationship disagree. We are left wondering if the man cave exists or if the wife has installed a cinema in his absence.
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