Man Asks His Wife to Drop off the Groceries Before Going Out and Is Accused of Being Condescending 

By Emma Williams

A man was accused of being condescending and “lacking common sense” for asking his wife to bring home their groceries before she went out for lunch. Speaking on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA), the 37-year-old said he was home for the morning with his youngest child while his wife did the grocery shopping with their eldest child. When the woman was not home at the time they usually prepared lunch, the man made a call to his wife to see if she and his daughter wanted food.  

His Wife Was Planning to Go to Lunch

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His wife answered the man’s call and said she was planning on meeting friends at the lake to avoid putting any food out. The man’s response to his wife meeting friends was to say, “Well, can you bring the groceries home first”? Thinking he would get a simple “yes” or “no” response, he was sorely mistaken as his wife was furious. 

He Should Be Careful with His Language

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The man told readers how his wife was angry at him for asking a silly question and told him, ” Of course, I am going to bring them home.” His wife went on to ask him not to talk to her in that way, but the OP protested that he had done nothing wrong. The man shared that he thinks his wife is disrespectful for always getting angry. 

She Should Have Told Him Her Plans

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The man insisted that he wasn’t in the wrong as his wife did not tell him she would be home, so that is why he asked. He believes that his wife overreacts, so he told his story online, hoping that people would support him. 

An Apology Would Be Made

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The man did tell readers that his wife apologized to him for the way she reacted to him that day, but she was still not happy about the way he spoke to her. In general, His wife said that he repeatedly asked him to watch how he speaks to her, and she was perplexed as to how he would think she would leave hundreds of dollars worth of groceries in the car. She also thought he would know she would have to come home for their swimwear to go to the lake.

She Worries about How Her Husband Sees Her

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His wife finished their conversation by saying she is annoyed that the OP doesn’t think she has common sense. However, the OP was dismissive in his post as he insisted that he thinks his wife’s temper got the better of her, and he was not condescending. 

Think of the Bigger Picture

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Many Reddit readers read beyond the actual phone call incident and could see the bigger picture of why his wife reacted the way she did. One person said, “she’s been asking you for some time to be more careful about how you speak to her.” This person said, “Either you lack the common sense to think through the question you’re asking, or you think your wife is a complete idiot, and you make that obvious on a regular basis.”

It’s All about the Tone

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Other readers wondered how the man spoke to the woman, believing it may have been how he spoke to her rather than what words were used. One comment said, “I’ll also guarantee it’s the tone. There’s confusion, “Can you bring the groceries home first?” and combative, “Can you bring the groceries home first.”

Was There a History?

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Inquisitive readers wondered if this situation had happened before, with one person saying, “I’d want to know if the wife has a history of leaving groceries for hours in the car. If not, then OP has no leg to stand on. I mean, seriously, why would you ask that question.” 

Others Shared Their Stories

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In a show of understanding towards the OP, one person was honest enough to say what they would do in this situation. They said, “It does sound like something I would say — and to be clear I’m not defending OP, necessarily, but as someone with pretty severe anxiety this is how it’d go in my mind: -hold on, is she bringing the groceries back?”

Always Be Prepared

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Despite some empathy for the OP, most readers deemed him to be an a**hole and said that he should be prepared for such reactions from his wife when he is not the best person. One reader said, “are you under the impression that your wife is an idiot? My good dude, if you ask stupid questions you should be prepared that somebody is going to be short with you.”

It is fair to say that the man has a lot of food for thought, and we can only hope he learns to listen to his wife when she asks to be spoken to with respect. 

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