Love vs Infatuation: 12 Women Reflect on the Head vs Heart Dilemma

By Krystal Brown

Love and Infatuation are two different emotional experiences, but they can be difficult to distinguish, especially in the early stages of a relationship. We look at women’s stories of their battles to determine if they are actually in Love. 

Wanting Them to Be Happy

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One online user thought that she felt that Love was thinking about the other person’s feelings as well as your own. They said, “To me, Love is wanting things for that person. Wanting them to be happy, feel good, succeed, etc.” On the other hand, she thought, “Infatuation seems more like something where you are filling your needs instead of theirs.”

Wanting to Be With Them at Their Worst

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For one woman, knowing that you want to be with someone even when they are at their worst is when you know you are in Love. She says, “Love is when I still want to be with them even at their worst and make things better/work when I could have just walked away if it’s an infatuation.”

Idea Vs. Reality

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One person got straight to the point when they said, “Infatuation is being into the idea of someone. Love is being into who they are.” This can be true for people who have had a crush on someone for a long time, only for them to get together and then realize that person is not all they cracked up to be. 


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Infatuation can be instant, as much of it is steeped in physical attraction, but time matters for love. One online user says, “Love requires experiencing a person’s behavior over some time. It’s knowing what they value, seeing them display it, and having that align with yours.”

It Goes Deeper

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One observant person said that Infatuation can sometimes mimic Love. They said, “Infatuation feels as love does, but love fearlessly travels places where infatuation dares not.” This can mean being infatuated will bring similar joy that Love does, which means that even when times are hard, you stick by that person. 

Thinking About Them Long Term

Happy Couples in Love
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The length of time you think about people who care for them is a sign of Love for some people. One woman said, “If I just feel affection and think about them for a few days, it’s Infatuation. However, Infatuation leads to Love sometimes.”

Feeling Like a Team

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Another woman thought that Love is all about teamwork when she said, “Is individual happiness and well-being truly mine, and vice versa? A wonderful thing to feel.” This person reiterated what others had said that Love is about genuinely caring for another person rather than thinking about how they can gratify you. 

A Sense of Calm

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“Love is peaceful and calm,” according to one woman who knows she is in Love once the chaos of Infatuation has relented. Another person recognized the difference in pace between Love and Infatuation when they said, “I have a strong feeling that love is more of a progress, and it does not entirely come from chemistry, where infatuation seems to be a combustion that everyone wishes to have, but not to possess.”

Embracing Change

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One astute commentator said, “If you’d lose interest if they dye their hair your least favorite color, then it’s Infatuation. If you still find yourself head-over-heels for them, it’s closer to Love.” This made a lot of sense to people who said, for better or worse, when you love someone, you embrace the changes they make in their life rather than becoming less attracted to them. 

The Ability to Live Together

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“If you live with them for a year and you are still infatuated, you might have caught the love disease.” these are wise words from someone who has experienced both Love and Infatuation. So many people have thought they were in Love and moved in with someone when they were just infatuated with them, so they needed to find a new place quickly. 

You Can Picture Them Old

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One woman had a question for forum readers when she asked, “Can you picture yourself being old together?”. She went on to explain her thoughts when she said, “When you’re bored but still just want her silent company next to you on the couch. Infatuation is fun. Love is when you want to be with them for the non-fun stuff as well.

Intense Attraction

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For many people, an “intense attraction” is what distinguishes Love from lust. One person said, “I think Infatuation is a more intense form of attraction / lust. Love, however, is built through a relationship. “

While there are different interpretations of Love and Infatuation, there is a common theme that instant physical attraction is likely to be Infatuation, and a more profound sense of caring for someone’s happiness is true Love. One philosophical user also pondered the need to define Love and Infatuation, saying, “Love doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with lust or Infatuation. It is merely the bond that is developed. I love my male friends. Nothing to do with attraction or Infatuation.”

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