He Doesn’t Attend His Son’s Wedding, but When He Spends the Day With His Ex Daughter in Law, They Disown Him

In a post that was published on an online forum, a father explains that he had skipped his son’s wedding. Instead, he spent the evening with his son’s ex-wife.

Background

After OP’s (original posters) son had graduated HighSchool, his son ended up moving 3 states away for college. There, he met and married his now ex-wife at age 19.

Reservations

OP, knowing his son as immature , tried to convince them to wait. But by 20 they had their first child after dropping out and moving back to his son’s hometown. They had a beautiful baby girl and they had a son soon after.

Worry

After their first child was born, he and his wife noticed that their daughter in-law was unhappy. Both worried that her drop in mood was due to postpartum depression. However, soon after the second child was born OP’s son and his son’s wife separated.

Marriage Problems

During their separation, OP’s daughter-in-law would bring her children over to visit them. This is where they found out the many problems going on that lead to the separation.

He Tried To Talk To His Son

After hearing about these issues, OP had sat down with his son a number of times. Believing in his daughter-in-law as he knew his son best. His son refused to take responsibility for the issues arising in their marriage, instead blaming his wife for everything. Even when OP pointed out specific instances where his son was the problem.

Counseling

Soon, they both got into counseling attempting to repair the marriage. For a year things were ‘ok’ on the surface. But after that year, OP’s daughter-in-law filed for divorce. Three days later it was announced via Facebook that his son was in an entirely new relationship. Getting engaged only a month later.

Alone

OP realizes that due to the fact his son’s ex-wife, due to insisting on his son’s part, was a stay at home mom began to struggle. She had no friends, no family, and knew no one aside from their family. With nowhere to go and two small children to care for, OP and his wife decided to help financially. Getting her an apartment unbeknownst to his son.

Invitation

Before their divorce was even finalized in court, OP and his wife received a wedding invitation. OP made it clear to his son that he would not be attending, and that the couple would not have his blessing either.

Disagreement

OP’s wife tried to reassure their son that she would convince OP to attend the wedding. But he did not budge. Staying consistent in his decision by telling his son not to bring his new fiancee around their house out of respect for the mother of his children.

February 11th

The wedding took place February 11th. Neither OP nor his daughter (and son’s sister) attended the wedding both for the same reasons. OP’s wife picked up their grandchildren, got them dressed, and attended the wedding themselves. Instead of attending, OP and his daughter went to spend the evening with his son’s ex-wife. Struggling to imagine her sitting alone while her kids attended their father’s wedding.

Surprised

His ex daughter-in-law was taken aback that the two had decided to stay with her rather than attending the wedding. Instead of sitting at home, he took her and his daughter out to distract her mind. Letting her know that she will always be considered family. Tearfully, she thanked them gratefully. OP realized only then just how badly she had needed their support. Specifically on that night.

Fall Out

The following morning, his son called him bereding him. Calling him a horrible father for not attending the wedding. A few days later his son caught wind that he had spent the evening with his ex instead. OP’s son claimed this was the “ultimate betrayal.” And that he and his son’s sister would both now have to “earn” a relationship with him on his terms only.

Context Clues

Though it is not out rightly said in the original post, it is clear that the son had cheated on his ex-wife with this new fiancee (now wife?). There was a wave of support from readers to the father, reassuring him he did the right thing in not supporting his son’s immature actions.

Update

In an update, it’s discovered that his son found this post. Messaging screenshots of the post and all of OP’s comments to his mother. Saying that “he is now dead to me.” His mother finally stood up to him, explaining that “your children have to be our number one priority.” Going on to say that they aren’t just disposable items he can just leave behind when a chapter of his life closes.

Hope

They can only hope that OP’s son will someday understand his fathers decision, and the words of his mother. Though, OP does not have much hope that he will keep up the “he is dead to me” act for long. As he claims the second his son needs another cash loan from him, that his son will change his tune

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