When individuals carry emotional wounds, they often find it challenging for others to relate to their experiences. Nevertheless, there are ten compelling reasons why those who have been through hardship tend to form strong bonds with fellow wounded souls.
They Can Help You Navigate the Ups and Downs
Life can be a rollercoaster at times and some of us have been to entire theme parks full of rollercoasters in our lifetime. When a person hints at a bump and needs a helping hand the best thing that they can do is get support from those who have been on the same journey. The person who has recovered from their damage can advise on how best to handle difficult situations, often being able to advise on the things that will make things worse.
They Know When You Need Space
When a person has been through a difficult patch they will know that there comes a time when all you need is time alone to think and breathe. Somehow, people who are damaged themselves can read between the lines and empathize with others who are in desperate need of space and time. Friends who are damaged will instantly understand when one person cancels plans at the last minute or is quieter than usual when they do meet up.
Nothing is Too Embarrassing
A friend who is damaged means that when you mess up they understand and will be there for you to hold back. When someone has been at their lowest they understand that people do things that are completely out of character and things they instantly regret. If you need to offload your deepest, darkest secrets, your damaged friend of confidence is the person to talk to.
They Understand the Road to Recovery
When someone has been to hell and back they will remember what it took to get them there. This means that they can encourage you not to give up, spur you on as you work to meet your next goal, and be there for the ultimate pick-me-up when things don’t go quite to plan. They will also understand that getting better takes time and unlike some people in your life will allow you to take things at your own pace. When people don’t quite understand what you are going through and will expect you to be “over it already”.
They Value Friendship
Even the most caring of friends will be hurt if you do something unkind and they may not be able to forgive you for the worst things that you have done. Despite this, a good friend will understand that in life we do things when we are in a bad state and that in the long run, it is friendships that matter. A person who does not have a lifetime experience of being damaged themselves may just break off a friendship and never look back but when someone has been damaged themselves they can put some things aside.
They Are Deeply Empathetic
A true ally can not always know exactly what you are going through but they can empathize with how you are feeling and be there for whatever you need. They will not judge or have expectations of what you should do next and they will never say “ I know how you are feeling” when the truth is that nobody can ever experience the same thing as you.
They Are Strong
We can hurt people badly when we are hurting ourselves and often that means hitting out at the people we love. When a person has been at their lowest they may have hit out at people and said horrible things about them, which means they truly understand where you are coming from. A damaged person may be able to tolerate being a target longer than a friend who has had no problems in the past would.
They Know How to Distract You
Sometimes we just need distractions to take the pain away for a little while. Somebody who has been through the ups and downs life has to offer will know just what to do to snap you out of a bad spell and do something long enough to have a little respite from your issues.
They Can Help You Avoid Further Heartbreak
Some people have been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt so they will be in the best place to advise you on how to prevent making your situation worse. They will do this in a way that is not patronizing but in a way that says “ I understand how you are feeling, I have been there”. This will not always work but any damage limitation is good.
You Can Rely on Each Other
A damaged friendship works both ways and you will each become one and others rescuers when you are needed. Like that rollercoaster we talked about at the beginning of this list, the person who is holding things together will often hit a dip and rely on the person they have helped to help them in return.
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