The Parenting Handbook You Never Wanted: The Funniest (and Most Useless) Advice for New Parents

Parenthood gets even tougher when you’re bombarded with useless advice you never asked for or needed, making you want to pull your hair out from all the frustrating and clueless suggestions.

Your Whole Identity Is About Being A Mom

Even though having a new baby will add to your identity, it won’t change it completely. You are still your own person in your own right. You should never lose sight of your own personality, goals, sense of humor and values just because you’ve got a new baby. 

You Can Say Goodbye To Intimacy

Admittedly, it is difficult to find time for romance and passion when you have a new baby. However, it isn’t impossible. When you’re going through the process of learning to accept your postpartum body, it might be difficult to feel yourself again, but there will come a time when you will engage in intimacy again. 

You’re Never Going To Have Any Money Ever Again

We all know that adding another addition to the family is going to add to the monthly budget. However, if you’ve decided to start a family then you know the strain it may or may not cause. Nobody has a right to comment on your financial position. 

You’ll Never Be Able To Travel, It’s Too Stressful

It can be difficult to take a baby on a plane, but there are ways around it. We know that if your baby starts to cry on the plane, it can cause all sorts of discomforting feelings, but this shouldn’t stop you. It doesn’t have to be stressful, just ensure you’ve got enough to keep both you and your baby entertained. 

Having Another One Will Be Easier

If you want to have more than one baby, it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business. Every child is different and every family is different. Some things will be easier a second, third or fourth time around, and some things will be more complicated. It’s the decision of you, and your partner if you decide to expand. 

Cherish Your Trip Because It Won’t Happen Again

Not only is it more expensive to go to the movies with a child, but it can be difficult for a child to sit still for the length of a movie and they can become disruptive. However, a better alternative could be taking your baby to a drive-in movie. This means that you’ll be able to feed them when needed, and if they become restless, you can deal with it from the comfort of your own car, away from prying eyes. 

It Only Gets Worse

A parent who says this to a new parent is clearly going through something personal. Of course, there are certain things that will be more difficult. You go from having a baby in diapers to a baby that decides that the corner of the lounge is a great toilet. Teething is hard, terrible twos are difficult and potty training is complicated, but once you’re out of those milestones, you’ll feel much better and accomplished! 

You’re Going To Have Sleep

As a new parent, sleep deprivation is a real struggle. However, the lack of sleep at the beginning does improve as time goes on. You will one day be able to get a full night’s sleep, and if you do feel a bit sleep deprived, don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family for some help so you can catch up on the lost hours. 

You Can’t Be A Good Parent And Have Your Career 

A parent telling a new parent this is completely wrong. You can be a good parent and also choose to continue your career. There are many parents who work alongside bringing up their children. It’s not easy to balance a work life and home life, and there will be days when you feel like you’re making the wrong decision, but you can be successful at both. 

Childbirth Is Forgotten When You See Your Baby

Absolutely not. You remember that pain for months after you give birth, whether you’re completely besotted by your newborn, or not. Whether you give birth naturally or have a c-section, you will be remembering what it felt like for a good time later. 

You Should Only Be Feeding Your Baby This Way

Many moms breastfeed, and many bottle feed. Either way, if a parent is telling you that there is a specific way that you should be feeding your baby, and that you’re doing it wrong, do not listen! Forget breast is best, or bottle is best… fed is always best. 

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